


New Life

by Genuinelies



Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death, Old School, Written in 2006, ZoSan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 09:28:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 37,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3891211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genuinelies/pseuds/Genuinelies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The One Piece crew has gone their separate ways, leaving only Sanji with the King of the Pirates. Zoro's return stirs up old feelings, and finally, they put a better name to them. </p><p>Zoro also brings news of All Blue; but will the search for Sanji's dream cost them too much?</p><p> </p><p>Original description from LJ:</p><p>After all of it is over, only Sanji is left with something other than his dream. Nakamaship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I wrote this fic in 2006 when One Piece was still being shown on 4Kids Saturday mornings. So please don't expect any of the more recent characters or character development to be in this! It is olllld school. One of my first fanfics that I just wanted to put on Ao3 for posterity :)

**New Life: Chapter 1**

*****

Out of all of them, only Sanji had chosen to remain with their captain.

He supposed when it came down to it, he wouldn't have known what to do if they /had/ found All Blue. He'd told them he wanted his own restaurant, but the secret he held close to his heart was to return to the Baratie. He wanted to finally repay that debt he owed to the shitty old man. Maybe, he thought, if he found All Blue he could give its secrets to him. The chef's holy grail.

When it came down to it, he had too many obligations. Obligations to Zeff (who, when he offered to return, told him the next time he wrote it had better be about something important or he'd come and claim that leg he was owed)and obligations to Luffy. He didn't count any obligations to himself, because it had never been about him. 

All of them had thought the most important thing to him was to find All Blue. They compared their dreams to his and thought his goal eclipsed everything, just like theirs.

What he had never told them was that his true dream, his secret dream, was of family. It wasn't of proving himself as a chef, because he was self-aware enough to know that he was possibly already the best. It was of having a place where he belonged. 

When Luffy dragged him aboard, and that shitty old man all but kicked him off the Baratie, the meaning of nakama had been beaten into him. Not slowly, but fast and hard by three impossibly well-wielded swords, fists that would bounce off of his kicks without so much as a dent and words that sometimes hurt more than all of his battle-wounds combined. 

They could fight with each other and beside each other in the split second it took for their pirate ship to be attacked. They could argue and yell for an entire day and still gather in unspoken companionship for dinner. A dinner he cooked for them, and that he knew was always, /always/ appreciated.

He didn't know what it was, but it was unconditional.

Had been unconditional. 

Nami had been the first to leave. Other than Robin, of course, but she had left long before all of it. 

Nami stayed for three months after Luffy had found the One Piece and claimed the title they all knew he deserved, helping them fight off all the ones who came to challenge him. She even stayed to navigate them back, a sail of victory back down the Grand Line. But after she was given her share of their treasure and Luffy had paid off Zoro's debt, they reached a lavish city their navigator thought she could live in. She said that maybe, some day, she'd join back up with them, but for the time being she wanted to concentrate on her maps.

He supposed those last battles had affected them all. 

Usopp was the next to leave, and probably would have been the first if it had been on their way. He conceded the Going Merry to Luffy as if it were still his to give away, but had left their crew without a backwards glance. 

Sanji forgave him. He had true love to return home to.

Chopper had stayed until Zoro left. Luffy had given them both his blessing, saying simply that Zoro would need his doctor more than him. Zoro had tried to make a thing out of it, guilt warring obviously on his face with the promise he had made, but Luffy said that he would rather live, thank you. Zoro had looked stupid and confused (as always, Sanji snorted) until Luffy clarified. "You told me you'd have to kill me," his captain said, "if I ever came between you and your goal."

Sanji watched his dreams sail away with his nakama. Fragments that left nothing but the building blocks of a new person. 

They had never found All Blue. Luffy, having accomplished his own dream, promised to help Sanji find his.

And Sanji, knowing that Luffy had nothing now but what other people could give him, stayed. 

They sailed back down the Grand Line for two years. They had recruited a new doctor, a new navigator, and five others who were in no way a replacement for the one swordsman they'd lost. 

All good men, and two good women. Most likely the second-best crew in the world.

It was like living a dream. Everything seemed so familiar, like they had done it before. A permanent sense of deja vu lingered. They did it all again, and maybe better, but the two remaining nakama could see their own emotions on the other's face when they thought they were alone. The expression was alien and heartbreaking on Luffy's. Sanji didn't know how his own looked, but he tried his best to hide it from his captain.

Luffy and Sanji stayed up long into the nights, drinking rum and laughing about the past. He supposed their crew thought they were drunken fools, albeit dangerous drunken fools because they never dared to join them. In fact, none of their crew dared to challenge Sanji or the Pirate King in a fight, so they were left to fight each other. And after two years, even that had become rote.

"Sanji," Luffy had told him once, in a serious tone that was becoming more the norm for their carefree captain, "You can leave, if you want."

Sanji had kicked him in his rubbery skull. He was rewarded with a look of pure joy.

Two years later, and neither of them could believe it when one of their crew caught a sodden green haramaki with her fishing pole. 

Sanji had snatched it from the woman, unusually inconsiderate when he didn't even apologize. The sea had done a good job of washing out the red, but there was one spot, directly in its middle, that had a small, clean slash that went from front to back. Around it, spread like a flower, was a geranium stain. 

Captain and cook stayed up the whole of that night, pouring rum into the ocean.

They docked the next day, giving their crew leave on the shore. They knew there was a town nestled behind the forest where they could spend the night, and the crew could avoid the grief of the nakama.

Sanji and Luffy stayed on the beach, sitting next to each other in silent companionship, gazing into the dying embers of their campfire. 

"Where was Chopper?" Luffy asked quietly.

"That fucking dumbass marimo swordsman." Sanji replied, "Good riddance. Good rid-" 

Tears made it hard to swear.

"Sanji?" Luffy asked some time later, his voice small. He had never heard his usually certain captain sound like that, in all the years he had known him.

Sanji lit a cigarette and nodded towards the younger man.

"I'm glad you stayed," he said. 

Sanji looked over in surprise, but Luffy had his back to him. He was already snoring.

He woke that night to the light tread of feet, panther-like in their near silence. He pretended to turn in his sleep, freeing his legs from the confines of his blanket. 

Someone gasped above him. It was sharp and strangely surprised for someone who had been stalking them. 

He cracked an eye, but all he could see from under the fall of his hair were shadows.

The footsteps had stopped, but he could hear someone breathing heavily behind the drone of Luffy's snores.

He didn't care whether this person was hostile. He was annoying.

Sanji decided to fall back on his old practice of "kick first, then ask questions." He swung himself into a handstand, bring both feet down /almost/ as hard as he could towards the breathing. 

And was knocked on his ass. Something slender and hard had hit the soles of his feet, throwing him backwards.

Sleep-dazed and shocked by the ease with which he was blocked, he still had the presence of mind to leap back into a fighting stance, positioning himself between his attacker and his still-sleeping captain.

The moonlight cast the stranger's face in shadow, but two narrow streaks of light branched from the man's hip. The gleam of a third sword pointed downwards from his left hand.

It was enough.

Sanji kicked at the man viciously, using his best moves. Perhaps a hundred kicks were blocked until finally, Sanji felt his bare heel connect with the solid, warm expanse of a chest. The other man let out a heaving grunt, falling backwards into the sand.

"Sanji?" Luffy asked from behind his elbow, his voice alert. "Who is that guy?"

Sanji said nothing, catching his breath and glaring at the form on the ground.

Luffy padded over to the spread-eagled figure, then paused. A second later he dropped with a squeal sure to wake the whole island. 

"We thought you were dead! We found your haramaki! Does this mean you won? You're the best? Because I need the best on my crew. But if you're not the best, it's ok. You can still come with us."

Sanji didn't hear how the swordsman replied, but he did hear the low chuckle. He turned and walked back towards their ship, /his/ ship, leaving captain and first mate to their reunion.

*****

Sanji didn't sleep that night, and even perched on the railing he could hear Luffy's happy chatter and Zoro's occasional replies. When the moon was close to the horizon, still several hours from dawn, the voices finally fell silent. 

It left Sanji bereft. Alone on the boat and staring into the expanse of the moonlit sea, he finally recognized how separate he really was. He had been able to pretend for the last two years that he had found his calling, sailing with the near undivided attention of his captain. But it had never felt true. Deep in his gut, he knew he was just putting off the inevitable.

For the first time he wanted with /all/ of his heart to find All Blue. 

Maybe then he could convince himself that it was fate for him to be alone.

He didn't hear him until he saw green and white blur out of the corner of his eye. He didn't turn his head, but he felt Zoro lean on the railing beside him.

"It's been a while," his former nakama said softly. 

The lack of an insult hit Sanji more than anything, deep in a place in his gut he'd forgotten he had. It was a true greeting of acquaintances.

He took a drag on his cigarette, then lost interest in it entirely. He tossed it overboard, watching as the glowing ember was snuffed by the waves.

For possibly the first time in his life, Sanji couldn't find words. He sat there in misery, waiting for the dream to end.

"I beat him," the note of pride was unmistakable in Zoro's voice. "Two months ago. I was going to leave soon. Luffy still has it - that's lucky timing." 

Sanji shrugged. "He's the Pirate King."

Zoro laughed, more carefree than Sanji ever remembered him being. "I guess he is."

"You goddamn shitty swordsman," Sanji finally bit out. "What did you do with Chopper?"

There was a pause, probably due to Zoro trying to follow his 180 change of thought. "He took off after patching me up. Said he wanted to sail back to the town Nami settled down in." 

There was a long silence. It wasn't companionable. It was suffocating and inescapable. Sanji wished he had a reason to kick the swordsman's head in.

But what had been there before, what had been unconditional, was gone. So he sat in silence and /refused/ to look at the man beside him.

"He's not dead," Zoro offered after a while. "I think I'm glad about that."

"Mihawk?" Sanji forgot himself and turned.

Both of them froze as their eyes met, an acknowledgment that they were both really there.

Zoro studied his face with a care Sanji had only seen him use on his swords and their captain. It was like he was checking him for hidden injuries, trying to match up what he saw with his memories of the cook. 

Sanji snarled in his face and pushed himself to his feet. "You left Luffy alone on shore, you fucking dumbass."

"I wasn't the one who ran off in a sulk, kuso-cook."

"I don't sulk, marimo!"

But the fight only lasted a few minutes, and ended with the ship still intact and the two men slumped on deck, back to back. 

And that was how Luffy found his nakama in the morning.

****


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of can't believe how short what I considered a chapter was back in 2006 ^^;

**New Life: Chapter 2**

*****

It was three days before Zoro finally admitted it to Sanji.

Sanji refused to believe him. 

It was a fight that ended with half the deck in splinters and Sanji shaking against the railing. Zoro stood with his arms crossed after it was over, watching him patiently as he came to terms with the news. 

Finally Sanji stopped staring at the waters to grip Zoro's shoulders. "By accident. It can't be. And not _you_. You can't find it again, can you."

Zoro smirked at him and shook his head. "Sanji, I can't even find my way back from a pub."

His name had been added to Zoro's vocabularly, after they had set sail. Sanji didn't question what that meant.

Despair created tears. They stayed wedged in the corners of his eyes.

A second later he felt a brittle roll of parchment press into his palm. 

"What's this?" He asked, voice scratchy and low.

Zoro, face somber, said, "A map. I hired a navigator to find Mihawk, and I had him chart the -"

The tears fell.

"You found - of all the - mapped it - _All Blue_..." Sanji sputtered, sobbing.

How many years had he been searching for it?

And after all of it, it wasn't even him.

He barely felt his sleeve being rolled up, or the silent, swift strike that sliced through both their arms. 

He just looked on, dazed, as Zoro pressed their wrists together. Mixed blood dripped onto the deck.

"Now no one can say you didn't find it," Zoro said, not allowing him to break their eye contact. He held their arms together firmly. "No one can say you didn't find it first."

Sanji, who had a different way of doing things, kissed him.

Sanji had many expectations of the result of this, first of which was Zoro cutting his throat, second of which was a long sword through his stomach.

What he hadn't expected at all was for the swordsman to kiss him back. Much less so with the desperation and intensity that he had, lips drinking in the contact as if he needed Sanji's kiss to live. 

Minutes later, the clinking of coins being exchanged on deck broke them apart, both gasping slightly for the air they'd forgotten to breathe. They looked up to find the crew passing money. The woman who'd found Zoro's haramaki looked especially smug, calling to their doctor, "I bet you more than this, ya stiffin' me?"

"Oi!" Sanji yelled. "What is this?"

Luffy answered him from his front-row seat in the crow's nest. "They've been placing bets on whether or not you two would kiss before the week was out. I told them there was no way, 'cause you guys hate each other." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, knocking his hat to the side. "I guess I owe them some money."

"Oh, Luffy," Sanji said despairingly, "Not you, too."

Zoro laughed. Sanji looked up in surprise. The swordsman bent close to his ear and whispered, "You know, it did take you long enough. _Years_ , Sanji."

He turned to the deck. "We really need Usopp here, you know. I doubt any of these slackers can repair that damage."

"Oi!" Luffy's young shipbuilder cried, pushing his way through the others, "I can too! And better than that-that-whoever you had before!"

Sanji supposed it must be hard, living in the shadow of a legend.

And looking at the now-awed faces of the rest of the crew (this was really the first time Zoro had spoken to them, now that he thought about it), it must be harder to live side by side with the legend you supposedly replaced.

He lit a cigarette as Zoro glared. He gestured towards the young man. "His name's Guri." He shrugged. "He's ok."

The gratitude that shone in the boy's eyes as he ran to get his tools was almost embarassing to see. 

Zoro gave a shrug of his own, then pushed past the gathering to stroll towards the other side of the ship, where all of his weights were kept.

Apparently, it equaled an acceptance Sanji hadn't realized they'd been waiting for. A long, loud cheer went up as Luffy set their course and Sanji handed the map over to their navigator. All of their faces were aglow as they scattered, readying the ship for their voyage. 

It had never occured to Sanji that these past few years, these young men and women had signed onto _his_ dream. They had effectively been _his_ crew. This was a culmination of more than his personal quest for All Blue. It was the goal their whole crew had been pursuing, relentlessy, for him.

Without realizing it, Zoro had brought not one, but two of his dreams back to Sanji with his return.

*****


	3. Chapter 3

**New Life: Chapter 3**

*****

All Blue.

Sanji hissed as he sliced his thumb. It was never good to be distracted while chopping herbs, especially while chopping as fast as he was. Their doctor had bandaged the arm Zoro had cut open, but at the rate he was going it wouldn't even matter. This was the fifth wound he'd given himself in less than an hour.

He set down his knife and gave his wrists a rest, removing his cigarette so he could suck on his thumb. He looked up and out through the window to where Zoro was training. There was a tight pain in his gut every time he saw the swordsman there. He had been gone for so long, and then he was dead, and having his nakama alive and in the spot where he always used to be felt like he had fallen asleep on watch and had just forgotten to wake up. 

And when he did, it would just be him and Luffy again, and a crew who, after two years, were barely more than filled positions.

He studied Zoro as his muscles strained and his shirt - now black - dampened with exertion. He hadn't thought about what had happened that afternoon, largely on purpose, but that didn't stop him from openly observing his crewmate. He felt that, at least, was his right.

His nakama- the very fact he could call Zoro nakama again brought a feeling Sanji thought it best to ignore -had changed.

It was almost imperceptible. Part of it was shown through Zoro deigning to use his name, although in the past few days he'd begun falling back on old favorites, many of which involved the word shitty. It was kind of a relief for them both, Sanji thought, that they still annoyed each other as much as they used to. But the other change was in that although the expletives were there, the edge was gone. The formerly angry words had a new tinge to them that bordered on affection. Somehow, finally having proved himself had taken a large part of the characteristic tension away from the swordsman. 

He didn't always show it, but at times when Zoro was by himself Sanji caught him actually looking content. There was a calmness to him that had never been there before, a sort of aura that told them he was at peace with the world.

Sanji wondered if finding All Blue would do the same for him.

He didn't think it would. 

The difference was that Zoro had no more promises to keep. At the young, young age of 24, he had completed his life's mission. He was the best in the world, and whatever obligations he carried now, he owed them only to himself. 

Sanji, however, now had one more debt added to his list. Assuming Zoro hadn't hired a crackpot for his navigator, and they really had found All Blue, the swordsman had brought Sanji's dream to him. 

It was a debt he wasn't sure he could repay. 

Suddenly, Zoro looked up. Sanji froze as he caught his eyes. Forcing himself to act normal, as if he hadn't been staring at him for five minutes straight, he removed the thumb from his mouth and brought a shaky cigarette to his lips. 

Zoro smiled. 

Yes, Zoro was back with them. Zoro was training, like Zoros did. 

But things had changed. Zoro had changed.

He supposed he had, too.

He tore his gaze away and went back to his cooking. 

Frustration born of uncertainty and nostalgia and a feeling he didn't want to name as the thought that he missed the swordsman's scowl crossed his mind suddenly translated into an urge to leave the galley and go kick his undead nakama across the deck, right into his smiling face.

And that feeling, he could recognize.

Sanji smirked around his cigarette, and went back to chopping herbs.

*****

Dinner was slightly tense. 

The crew had gotten over the bravery they had shown earlier while placing bets and were meekly eating their dinner under a fitting cloud of embarassment. Luffy seemed oblivious, the Pirate King babbling to Zoro about all the adventures they'd had in his absence around two chipmunk-cheeks full of food.

Sanji took his dinner standing up, by the sink. It seemed fitting. He had been Luffy's first mate as well as his cook for the past two years, but now that his true first mate had returned it felt more natural for him to move aside. 

For his part, Zoro was silent during the meal, but he looked enraptured with Luffy as he spoke. 

Finally Luffy swallowed and took a giant swig of his drink. Looking content, he leaned back in his chair and patted his belly. 

"So what did you do, Zoro?" He asked, tipping his hat back and looking at him with wide eyes. "I bet you had some great adventures!"

The crew, as one, stopped eating, forks hanging in midair.

There had been stories. At every one of the villages they'd stopped at, word of a lone swordsman with a terrific beast as a companion was a constant note under the drone of conversation in the pubs. They'd heard stories of his conquests, of how he'd stop in a town and challenge all of those willing until there was no one left to fight. Some would set up festivals if they heard of his coming; others would close their ports. His bounty was so large that all the bounty hunters not looking for the Pirate King and his crew would sell their souls to catch him.

It was no wonder that their crew, for the most part young and green but for the experience garnered on the Going Merry, were in awe.

Zoro shrugged a shoulder. "I sailed down the Grand Line with Chopper until we found a decent navigator and caught some news of Mihawk." He laughed. "He actually sent me an invitation."

The crew gasped. Luffy grinned. "Neat!"

"I guess he was watching my progress." Zoro frowned suddenly. "It was almost as if he wanted to be beaten."

Sanji exhaled a stream of smoke. "It has to be pretty boring with no one to fight," he commented.

Zoro raised an eyebrow at this. Sanji met his eyes then looked out the window.

"At any rate, I found him only a couple months ago. We fought, I won, Chopper stayed to patch us up and then took off." Zoro took a swig of his drink. "I was going to leave myself right before you found me."

"Soo...Mihawk was still there?" Luffy asked.

Zoro nodded. "I promised to come back once a year for another round." He looked thoughtful. "He could still beat me, so I have to keep training."

"So, what did you do this past month with him? Have tea and cookies?" Sanji drawled. He couldn't say why, but Zoro just hanging out with Mihawk touched a nerve.

Zoro scowled. "Trained. He taught me some of his moves."

"For only a month?"

Zoro shrugged. "Can't teach me all of his moves. We're still opponents."

Luffy suddenly let out a loud, raucous laugh. Half the crew at the table jumped. "He's a smart guy!" He exclaimed. "Now you'll have to stay the best, Zoro, if you have to beat him again!"

Zoro grunted then raised an eyebrow at the slack-jawed crew. "What?"

A chorus of "Nothings!" rang out, followed by a flurry of munching.

Sanji snorted. "Figures that's all you did, lazy marimo."

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"You just sailed around until you found Mihawk, missing every adventure on the whole Grand Line. You probably slept the whole time and made Chopper navigate."

"I did other things, too!" Zoro snapped. Then, quieter, "Just none of it was important."

Sanji snorted again. 

There was a pause. "I found All Blue," Zoro offered.

That rankled. Sanji narrowed his eyes. "We'll see."

"What, you don't believe me, you shitty cook? I spent good money to have that map made!"

"We spent two years looking for it, plus all that time before. I refuse to believe that you just stumbled upon All Blue by accident."

The crew was eyeing them warily. Luffy grinned, disarming them both. "Well, we'll know soon enough. According to the map, it's only two weeks from here."

"Yes, we will." Zoro asserted.

Sanji took a drag on his cigarette and turned, gazing out the window at the blue water beyond.

*****

Sanji, elbow-deep in dishsoap, felt a presence at his side after the crew and their captain had filed out. Without turning, he tossed a clean dish over and heard the slap as it was caught. 

"Sanji." Zoro stated.

Sanji raised an eyebrow and passed him another dish.

"Saa-nji." His nakama said again, placing the dried dish to the side.

"Sanjiii-"

Sanji kicked him lightly on his head, hard enough to make him wince but that was all. "Knock it off, marimo." Damn, but Zoro had been right before. That was annoying.

"Oi, you shitty cook, I was trying to be helpful."

"Like hell you were, asshole."

"I remember learning that trick from you."

Suddenly, Sanji found himself spun around, back pressed into the counter. "Oi, you shitty-mmf-" The rest of his sentence was swallowed as Zoro pressed his firm lips over his mouth.

Sanji's rational mind had about a split second to analyze how detrimental this would be to his masculine pride before Zoro thrust his tongue between his lips. Coherent thought left him. 

Zoro shoved a muscular thigh between Sanji's legs, grinding their groins together until they had mutual erections. Finally Sanji broke them apart, trying not to gasp. 

Zoro's eyes were dilated and dark as he looked into Sanji's own. His voice was low when he spoke. "Did you ever want this before." It wasn't quite a question.

The question hit Sanji hard. His impulse was to say No, Never, because before five hours ago he was convinced that women were the goddesses around which the world revolved. He was still well-known as a skirt chaser, even among their new crewmates. 

The swordsman had always gotten under his skin, though. If he forced himself to think about it, honestly, he'd always spent more time preoccupied with the swordsman and the ways he annoyed him than he ever did with any of the girls. But it had never occured to him to question why he cared so much about what that damned marimo thought. Or why he spent more time in close physical contact with the swordsman than he did with any woman.

"I don't know." Sanji said.

Something in Zoro's eyes closed off. Sanji felt it like a slap in the face. 

"Zoro. I'll tell you what I do know." Sanji wrapped a leg around Zoro's knee, drawing them closer. The swordsman had stilled, his hands splayed over the cook's back. His voice low, Sanji continued, "When they found your damned towel-" Sanji swallowed. He racked his brain, but everything he came up with was unmentionable. "Just never fucking do that again."

"It's a haramaki." Zoro half-growled. 

But the light was back in his eyes as he leaned forward to kiss the cook.

*****


	4. Chapter 4

**New Life: Chapter 4: Interlude**  
*****

"Ungh-"

Sanji's back arched as waves of pleasure rippled through his body. He was trembling, but for some reason it didn't bother him that he had lost so much of his control because Zoro, buried within him, was also shuddering uncontrollably. The swordsman's eyes were closed tightly, a look of abandon covering his features.

"Unh." Zoro replied, lowering himself onto the cook's slick stomach and sliding his hand off of Sanji's cock. A moment later gentle lips traced a path up Sanji's throat, ending their quest at his own. 

Sanji smirked against the other man's mouth. "If you'd told me this was an option, shit swordsman, I would have spent less time kicking your head in."

Zoro's chuckle vibrated against both their stomaches. "I thought you'd kick it harder."

Sanji gave a small shrug, closing his eyes and relishing the afterglow. "Maybe." He wrapped his arms around Zoro's broad shoulders, pulling him down until they were nestled like pieces of a puzzle, legs entwined. Zoro's hands still rested on his hips.

"Because of Nami." Zoro breathed against his ear. There was a curious note of resignation in his voice.

Sanji was hit with a sudden craving for a cigarette. Neither man had talked much about their former life since Zoro returned, more specifically Sanji's multiple feminine obsessions. In particular the name Zoro had just dropped into the thick, sleepy air. 

"Did you really - I mean," Sanji fumbled for words. "Back then. You really wanted this?"

Zoro pressed his forhead to Sanji's. "Yes." He breathed.

The answer was simple, and terrifying. 

For a moment the soft slap of waves against the sides of the Going Merry and the distant snores of the crew were all that could be heard in the room where Nami used to draw her maps. 

Finally Zoro gave a soft sigh. "You were always pushing me away, love-cook." Zoro murmured against his cheek. There wasn't any emotion in the words. It was just a statement of fact.

Sanji frowned. "You were the one always picking fights with me."

Zoro snorted. "Yeah, because you were always acting like a fool over the girls. It was embarassing to watch."

Two and two suddenly clicked in Sanji's head. The sum was jealousy.

A lot of things suddenly seemed clearer.

"That's because ladies aren't supposed to be treated the way you treat them, marimo."

"Oh yeah?" Zoro lifted his head, his eyes narrowing. 

"Yeah."

"And why's that? Seems to me she just left you anyway-"

Sanji shoved Zoro off of him and pushed himself upright. It was time to find that cigarette. Without bothering to cover himself, he began rooting through the pile of clothes strewn across the floor for his jacket. 

Zoro's voice was grim. "Women are devious, Sanji. You treated Nami like a princess, and she still left you, in the end. Made you pay off your debt, too, if I remember."

Sanji found his jacket and pulled out a cigarette with a hum of relief. He didn't turn around as he sat back on the bed, not touching the swordsman. "So did you," he answered quietly. He lit his nicotene and inhaled the smoke deep into his lungs, holding it until some of the edge was gone.

"What?"

Sanji ran a hand through his hair. "I said, so did you. Mihawk chop off an ear or what?"

A warm arm circled his waist. He let it pull him backwards until he rested against Zoro's chest.

The room was silent, Sanji's head moving up and down gently in time with Zoro's breathing. Zoro held him tightly, not answering him, and suddenly the image of Zoro's guilt-stricken face on the day he left formed in Sanji's mind. Sanji felt a sharp wave of regret.

"Forget it," Sanji said. "Forget I said that. You had to."

Zoro's hand tightened around his chest. It was both apology and gratitude.

Sanji snuffed out his cigarette, and eventually they dozed off together to the quiet sound of the waves.

*****


	5. Chapter 5

**New Life: Chapter 5**

*****

Sanji extracted himself from his snoring, green-haired companion at dawn, brushing his lips in a private gesture across the top of his head. It was something he wouldn't yet dare to do if Zoro were awake; but in these quiet hours he felt the privilege of claiming the man as his own. Of demonstrating the feelings he couldn't yet speak aloud.

It was true what he'd told Zoro earlier. He had never felt as he did when he thought his nakama had died. He'd missed him when he left the first time - but he'd managed to channel his frustration with the swordsman into a healthy anger that he'd kept stoked for the past two years. He'd been planning to use it to kick the World's Best Swordsman's ass all the way to the ever-elusive All Blue. 

But they'd found his haramaki, and all the anger had fled, leaving a hollow that filled the entirety of Sanji's being. 

If he thought about it hard enough, he could identify that feeling as the absence of hope.

In the days following their crewmate's discovery, Sanji had withdrawn, using the time to analyze feelings he'd never imagined existed in the world. Surprise over what he was feeling almost overpowered the feelings themselves. 

What he finally concluded was that if Zoro, the strongest person he had ever known and the most driven, even including Luffy, could not accomplish his goals, who was he to think he could ever accomplish his?

Then Zoro had returned to him, and he was shocked once more at his feelings. He didn't care whether or not the man was the best. He didn't care if he had achieved his goals, because in those few days that he'd thought the world was missing a piece of itself, he'd realized it was more about the search, the goal, _having_ a purpose rather than ever accomplishing it. 

Because having lost his direction himself, having lost the desire to continue on his own quest with the loss of their nakama, had made him question the purpose of going on anymore. His entire life on the Going Merry had begun to feel stale, like a dream that had gone too long. Without his goal to drive him, he had even begun to question the meaning of his very life.

And the fact that he'd still cared that the swordsman was alive shocked him to his core, because he didn't understand why finding him made Sanji feel like he was breathing again. He didn't understand why it had been about goals, and dreams, and purpose, and in the end it was only about one man.

Until the blade drew a graceful line through his skin, and Zoro had shown him, irrefutably, that they were connected. Their blood ran the same, ran together, and always had. They were a part of one another, a part that made them complete and had the power to make them broken.

A particularly loud snore shook Sanji from his thoughts. He grinned down at the swordsman, who was drooling on the pillow, his mouth stretched wide. The sheets were threaded haphazardly through his legs. A line of peach-colored sunlight striped across his face.

"Marimo," Sanji murmured, and pushed himself upright. Time to start breakfast.

*****

Luffy was already on deck when Sanji emerged, blond hair styled and suit freshly pressed. His captain was sitting on the figurehead, his back to him, facing the gentle warm glow of the rising sun. His straw hat was hanging down his back, and his wild black hair ruffled slightly in the breeze.

No one else was awake, and the ship was empty. Seeing Luffy in such a quiet, contemplative position was enough to make Sanji pause. 

He hesitated, then walked forward slowly, careful to make his heels click on the wooden deck to herald his coming. He touched Luffy's arm gently, looking across the water to the sunrise rather than at his nakama's face, then leaned on the railing. He wouldn't force him to speak if his thoughts were private ones.

But Luffy drew his legs up to his chest, wrapping his rubbery arms around his knees, and rested his head. Sanji saw him move, so he turned to meet his eyes.

Luffy's face was serious in the glow of the morning. Not quite sad, but it wasn't really happy, either.

"This is really it, isn't it."

The fact that his captain had asked him a question threw Sanji off. He was - they all were - used to him being sure of everything. Finally Sanji recognized Luffy's expression. It was lost.

"What do you mean?" Sanji asked back, voice low.

Luffy didn't quite answer him. "I think I wanted you to stay with me forever," he said. He turned his face back to the water. 

That tore something inside Sanji's chest. He automatically put a hand on Luffy's leg, gripping it. A moment later Luffy's hand came down to cover his own.

"It might not really be All Blue. After all, it is the damned -"

But Luffy shook his head. "We will someday, though. I promised you."

"I don't have to stay there -"

Luffy's chuckle interrupted him, but it wasn't the usual goofy giggle. Sanji was suddenly struck by how much his captain had grown. "That's like Zoro saying he didn't have to go off to find Mihawk. You wouldn't be you if you did that, and I don't want someone else."

It was confusing Luffy logic, but Sanji had had years of practice decifering it.

"Zoro came back." he offered. "You won't be short a first mate."

The fingers on his hand tightened, almost painfully. "He might stay with you."

That hit Sanji hard. The question of bare-bones loyalty had never arose in his mind. Zoro was always Luffy's, and that wasn't something he'd ever thought to question. His mouth worked a couple times, but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"And I don't really need a first mate," the Pirate King continued, "I'll be short a Sanji."

That made Sanji grin. "No, you won't."

Luffy turned to him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, even if we do find All Blue - and I'm not so sure we will - you won't be short a Sanji, because I'll still be here. You can come and eat at my restaurant. It'll just be like -" Sanji paused, trying to put his thoughts into words. He finally found the right ones. "It'll be like having a home. A place to go to and rest. You'll be safe at my place, from bounty hunters and everything else."

The deck was silent for a moment but for the slapping of the waves against the hull as Luffy thought over his words. Finally, a burbling, happy laugh peeled through the air.

Startled, Sanji looked up to find Luffy grinning down at him. "It would be nice to have a home," Luffy said.

Sanji grinned back.

"I'm hungry, Sanji," Luffy mused. "Can we have meat?"

Life as usual. Sanji gave his hand one last, comforting squeeze, then went to start his captain's breakfast.

*****


	6. Chapter 6

**New Life: Chapter 6**

*****

The rest of the morning was uneventful, until the ring of steel being drawn pulled Sanji from the galley. He found the deck flooded with marines and in complete chaos.

He sighed and counted down in his head. Five days...six...ten...it had been a little less than two weeks since the last attack. He shrugged. They were almost overdue. The navy was so predictable.

He was about to launch himself into the fight when the glint of sunlight on steel caught his eye. Across the deck, a small ring had formed. In the center was Zoro, all three blades drawn as one marine after another tried to attack him.

Sanji forgot to breathe. Zoro looked like the devil. All in black, save for the new green haramaki around his waist, green hair covered by his usual black bandana, the glint of his narrowed eyes and thin set of his mouth should have been enough to make any of his enemies cower. 

But marines never were the smartest, and kept charging the swordsman even as what had to be hundreds of their men were thrown back.

It wasn't his appearance that had gripped Sanji, however. It was the thin stripes of light, moving too fast to follow, making patterns in the air around the swordsman. It was like Zoro was enveloped in a golden aura, a halo that encompassed his entire body. The flash of his blades was unlike Sanji remembered. 

Suddenly Sanji felt what his nakama, his lover, had become. 

He wasn't so sure he could beat him now in a fight, and if he were honest with himself he had no lingering desire to try. 

The rest of the nakama had long since given up their own fights to watch Zoro. Luffy's whine alone cut through the ring of steel: "No fair, Zoro, leave some for us!"

And somehow, Zoro still had the concentration to chuckle back at him. 

Sanji realized Luffy was right. It wasn't fair. Finally he remembered to breathe, drawing in a long breath. He took a step forward to join the fray, but found himself stopped in his tracks as a piercing pain blossomed outward from his gut.

"Ah -" Sanji tried to voice a question, but it ended in an alarming gurgle. A snicker came from the left, just beyond his peripheral vision. He turned, and nearly toppled as white pain washed over his mind.

A marine was standing to the side. He had been hiding on the other side of the galley door. His uniform was still pristine, leading Sanji to believe that the coward had been hiding the whole fight. His hands were still clenched around a long spear, the sharp part of which seemed to have buried itself in Sanji's stomach.

The marine gave an experimental tug, forcing Sanji to fall ungracefully to his knees. The white noise of battle faded, until all that was left was the hiss of his own labored breathing scratching in his ears.

"Gotcha now, pirate." The marine chortled. 

Sanji struggled to raise himself, tried to draw a leg back, but the blood in his throat was making it hard for him to breathe, let alone move. So he settled for glaring at the boy in what he hoped was a threatening manner. 

For a moment it seemed they were at a standstill. Sanji didn't know what the marine was waiting for, but he looked like he was deciding whether or not to kill him. The cook guessed it was the boy's first fight, and very possibly the first time he had injured anyone at all. He couldn't have been older than 15.

Sanji berated himself for letting his guard down. It figured that he would be taken out while watching that damned kuso-marimo fight. And if this really was how he was going to go, he couldn't even be bitter because it was his own fucking fault for not paying attention.

Suddenly, the scene in front of him seemed to tilt. For a second he thought he was keeling over, when he realized the marine was the one falling. In his place was a black silhouette, a dark shadow against the sun that was suddenly rushing forward to cradle Sanji gently in strong arms. 

Sanji looked up. Zoro was kneeling over him. His expression was unlike Sanji had ever seen on the swordsman, mouth open and breathing heavily, eyes wide in fear. 

He had never, never seen Zoro afraid.

It made something clench in his gut, around the spear. Sanji tried to say something comforting but ended up coughing blood instead.

"Sanji," Zoro commanded, voice hoarse. Then he looked up, tearing his eyes away from the cook's face. "Doctor! Who is the doctor on this damned boat?!" Zoro's fingers tightened painfully on Sanji's arm.

The swordsman's legs were trembling underneath Sanji's back. The patter of feet rained down upon the deck until two more people were standing above the pair, one he recognized as Luffy, the other as the crew's doctor. 

"Give him air!" The woman's voice commanded sternly. Then, more gently, "You have to let him go." Sanji guessed she was talking to Zoro.

Sanji saw the swordsman's head shake violently, denying her. Some other words were said; it seemed his hearing was failing him, along with his sight. The figures above him were fading into dim outlines. He saw Luffy's outline step forward and grip Zoro's shoulders firmly. He was jostled as the arms around his shoulders were pried away. A whimpering sound made it to his ears through the rushing, and the movement around him abruptly stopped. He figured Zoro had finally relinquished his hold on him. 

The doctor's form rose over him. She was murmuring words he couldn't quite make out. Behind him, it looked like Luffy was shaking Zoro, which was somehow hilarious to Sanji. A giggle bubbled up in his throat, but it was cut off abruptly as the pain in his gut intensified a thousandfold.

Someone was screaming. He saw the outline of the doctor holding the thin shaft in her hands above him.

His vision went black.

*****


	7. Chapter 7

**New Life: Chapter 7**

*****

Sanji blinked open sleep-crusted eyes. His eyelids felt like they were welded together. The corners were moist and felt somehow raw, like he had been crying for a very long time. He couldn't say if he had or he hadn't, because the last thing he remembered was the pain of a spear being wrenched from his stomach. 

Blearily, his eyes focused on a water-stained wood ceiling. An unidentifiable stain in the middle of it told him he was in the doctor's quarters. His back was supported by something soft and unmoving; he was lying on the single sickbed the Going Merry owned. He couldn't tell what time it was, but it must have been past midnight as the cabin was illuminated only by the flickering orange glow of a candle.

The gentle rocking of the boat coupled with a dull pain in his abdomen was making him more than a little nauseous. He concentrated on taking in slow, steady breaths until the feeling passed, closing his eyes again as he did so.

He must have fallen back asleep, because when he opened his eyes again the cabin was bathed in the clean light of afternoon. His earlier nausea was back, and the pain in his stomach had reasserted its presence with a vengeance. It was like the time he had eaten a fish on the Baratie without asking Zeff if it was edible. He had learned first hand that some fish liked to protect their scaly selves with poisonous skin. He had been sick for a week straight, and his belly had felt like it was being torn from the inside out with fishhooks. 

This was worse. It almost hurt too bad for him to even groan, so he flopped his head to the side to see if the doctor was around to give him painkillers. Instead, he saw a slumped form, identifyable as Zoro, sitting in a wooden galley chair a couple of feet away from him, head cradled in his hands.

Sanji was about to ask for some drugs when he saw the man's mouth was moving. Sure enough, a dull murmur carried across the room.

Sanji strained his ears.

"Kuso-cook. Fucking...get yourself...hell were...killed."

Zoro's voice cracked on the last word. 

His hands were hiding his face from Sanji, but the cook was sure he wouldn't like whatever expression Zoro was wearing. 

Sanji tried to speak, but it resulted in an alarming coughing fit that firstly wracked his body with pain and secondly threw Zoro from his chair as the other man was taken by surprise. He ended up tripping over his chair, eyes wide, expression wild. Finally his gaze focused on Sanji. 

Sanji worked his mouth, but nothing came out. Zoro just stared at him for a second, unrecognizable emotions fleeing over his face. Sanji was taken off-guard as Zoro suddenly shouted, "Doctor! Ana! He's awake!"

The sound of approaching footsteps were heard on deck, but Sanji's vision faded before they reached the room.

*****

Sanji awoke for the third time with the senstation of someone running featherlight fingers through his hair. He opened his eyes and was pleased to find that not only did he not feel like expunging his innards, but the pain had faded to a dull point. He could feel it throbbing, lying in wait, but for the moment he could tell it was supressed under a blanket of drug-induced bliss. 

"You're awake," Zoro's scratchy voice came from above him. The touches stopped and withdrew. A moment later the scraping of a chair being pulled up came from his side. Sanji turned. He caught a fleeting glimpse of Zoro staring intensely at him, a hint of desperation on his features, before the swordsman looked down and away. He focused instead on a floorboard, or possibly the corner of Sanji's blanket.

"Hey," Sanji managed to get out without coughing. "..fucking marimo. Like playing nursemaid?" Sanji was still a little embarassed about exactly how he had been skewered, and somehow having the swordsman hovering over him like his damned mother was making him more than a little uncomfortable.

Zoro frowned deeply, still not meeting his eyes. 

The lack of response put Sanji on edge. "Oi. Where's Ana?"

Zoro shrugged with one shoulder. "I said I would watch you."

Sanji snorted. "Like I'm going anywhere, kuso-marimo."

Zoro finally looked up, meeting his eyes with a fierce glare. "That was stupid."

Sanji blinked. "What?"

"How the hell did you manage to get yourself shish kabobed by a damned cadet?"

Sanji snorted. "You've been hanging around with me too much if you've started making kitchen jokes, marimo."

Zoro narrowed his eyes even further, expression murderous.

Sanji glared back. "Look, asshole, you don't have to be here. Just get the doctor. I'm not gonna die on you." He turned away.

Suddenly, Zoro's hands buried themselves into the mattress by Sanji's legs, knuckles turning white. Sanji looked up in surprise. Zoro wasn't meeting his eyes again, head tilted to the side, shadowing his face. His arms were trembling.

"Did it feel like this?" The other man's voice was low.

"What?" Sanji asked, surprised.

"When - when you thought I was dead. Did it - " 

Zoro's hand slid up Sanji's side hesitantly to grasp his hand. He could feel the swordsman shaking. 

Zoro's head was still bowed, but there was no mistaking the single drop of water that splashed to the floor. For a moment, Sanji forgot to breathe. His throat constricted, slightly panicked.

"Oi. Oi, Zoro. It's ok. I'm here, right?"

"Sanji," Zoro commanded, then finally looked up to meet his eyes, forcing Sanji to acknowledge what he saw shining there. All the emotion, all the fear. All the vulnerability the other man was feeling because of him.

It terrified the cook, but there was no where to run to and Zoro was holding on to him too tightly to try anyway. Sanji swallowed thickly. Finally he broke the gaze, honesty torn from him.

"It felt like this," Sanji said. "It felt like a spear being ripped from my gut. It felt like something inside of me had been torn away, and there was nothing to replace it with." He felt wetness on his cheeks, and it made him glower angrily. Damn him.

Suddenly he felt the press of Zoro's forehead on his own, and drops of moisture that weren't his own ran down his face. 

"I think -" Zoro paused. "I need -" 

But Sanji nodded against his head, saving him from finishing his thought. He tilted his chin up, pressing his lips gently to Zoro's. 

Zoro met his eyes, soft with emotion. He gestured to the bed. "Will it - is it ok if I-"

Sanji nodded. Zoro's weight settled beside him, carefully avoiding touching Sanji's side. A hesitant arm wrapped around his shoulders, sliding gently beneath his neck.

Sanji closed his eyes and let his head fall back, resting against Zoro's shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere," he said.

There was a long silence, and just before Sanji drifted into sleep he heard Zoro reply quietly,

"I won't let you."

*****


	8. Chapter 8

**New Life: Chapter 8**

*****

Sanji awoke sometime later with the disconcerting feeling that someone was watching him. A thin stripe of moonlight was the only illumination in the dark cabin, making Sanji strain his eyes to see. Zoro was still sleeping beside him, snoring like he had bees stuck up his nose. 

Squinting, Sanji made out a dark shape perched by their feet. “Who’s there?” he demanded quietly.

The shape leaned forward, and Luffy’s face came into focus. With Zoro’s arm still cushioning his head and his own arms still wrapped around the other man’s chest, Sanji felt a deep blush crawl up his neck to his cheeks. 

“Just me,” Luffy whispered. 

Embarrassed, Sanji shifted, wincing slightly at the pain in his stomach, but retracting his arms and pushing himself up until he was seated at a shallow incline against his pillow. Zoro didn’t wake. “This, uh-” Sanji started.

Luffy grinned. “I know you guys sleep together. It’s ok.”

Sanji’s cheeks burned. He cleared his throat. “So what’re you doing here?”

“Wanted to see how you were doing,” Luffy said simply.

“In the middle of the night?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Also,” Luffy gave him a sheepish grin, “I was hungry.”

Sanji smirked at him. “Sorry, chore boy, but you’re gonna have to fend for yourself. At least for a day.” 

Luffy grinned wider. “That’s ok. That just means I can have all the meat I want.”

“It does not!” Sanji growled, alarmed. “We have days before we reach All Blue -”

But Luffy laughed at him. It had been two years since their captain had been quite so airheaded as to eat all their supplies. So Sanji settled back against the pillow, seething mildly.

An especially loud snore from Zoro broke the moment. Luffy lost his grin and instead stared wide-eyed at his injured cook. It was the blank stare he got on his face whenever the young Pirate King tried to think.

It always made Sanji nervous. “Spit it out,” he said.

“I’ve never seen Zoro that shook up,” his captain mused.

That made Sanji uncomfortable. “Yeah?” He drawled. “That just shows what an idiot he is. I’m fine.”

Luffy cocked his head. “He lost someone before, did you know that?”

Sanji had gathered it from the little the swordsman had said over the years about his promise and his damned swords, but he didn’t know the details so he gave an uncommitted shrug. “Yeah? So? Why’re you telling me this?”

“I like Zoro. And I like you. And both of you are kind of my first mates, although I guess Zoro is now if that’s ok with you.”

Sanji gave a slight nod at this. He wasn’t offended, and actually, he had just assumed that’s how it would be from the moment Zoro found them. He had no desire to be first mate to begin with. He was a chef, and he was good at it, and that was enough. He had always felt like he was wearing a designer suit that didn’t fit well in that role anyway.

At Sanji’s nod, Luffy continued, “I guess what I’m saying is, I want you both to be happy. So be careful, ok?”

Sanji swallowed. “With what?”

“With Zoro.” Luffy frowned at him, as though irritated he wasn’t getting it. It was the true speech of a best friend, and suddenly Sanji felt very alienated in Zoro’s bed. 

Sanji frowned at him. “Aren’t you worried he’s going to hear you? He’s right there.”

Luffy shook his head and pointed. “Naw. See that twitch by the corner of his mouth? That means he won’t wake up for anything. At least not easily.”

Sanji didn’t ask how Luffy knew that, and he didn’t really like the knot of jealousy it formed in his stomach either. He didn’t think they had been like that, but when it came down to it he didn’t really want to know.

“So why’re you telling me this now?”

Luffy grinned at him. “’cause you can’t go anywhere.”

“Little brat,” Sanji muttered, groaning and closing his eyes.

Silence fell over the cabin. For a long moment Sanji thought Luffy had left. But then he heard a quiet whisper, “Sanji? It’s not like that. We’re just best friends. And it’s ok.”

The tense knot in his stomach loosened. Sanji let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

He fell asleep before he could see whether Luffy stayed or left.

*****

Sanji was woken up a second time by a high keening sound. Blinking open his eyes, he saw that it was still the dead of the night, although the stripe of moonlight on the floor was a little closer to the wall.

After a moment he realized the strange sound was coming from Zoro. Peering at his face, he saw this lips moving.

“Kui-” the swordsman whispered, but his eyes were still clenched tight. Sanji felt movement, and looking down he saw Zoro’s hands clutching erratically at the sheets.

“Oi.” Sanji whispered. “Oi, marimo. Knock it off.”

Zoro muttered something, but didn’t stop his twitching.

Sanji jabbed him in the arm. Zoro flailed an arm, hitting Sanji squarely in the stomach. “Oof!” He coughed, then growled louder, “Oi! Dumbass! Wake the hell up!”

“Can’t...de-” Zoro mumbled in response. “-gotta beat...”

Sanji glowered at him. Beating? Was the fucker dreaming about him? 

“Yeah, you beat me,” Sanji snarled at him finally, then added, “...in your dreams.” And tomorrow I’m really gonna kick your ass, Sanji noted silently.

That seemed to do the trick. Zoro settled down, and his unnerving, frantic muttering fell back into the easy rise and fall of a snore.

Sanji sighed. “Marimo,” he muttered. A moment later Zoro flung an arm across his chest, rolling over to face him. Sanji didn’t shove it off.

He stared at Zoro’s now-peaceful face. His eyebrows were still clenched slightly, looking annoyed even in his sleep. It was still strange to him that sleeping next to the swordsman felt as natural as fighting him. And neither activity really diminished the desire to do the other. Sanji acknowledged that the conflicting desires of fucking and kicking the swordsman were what made their relationship whole. 

Their earlier conversation came back to him. 

"If you'd told me this was an option, shit swordsman, I would have spent less time kicking your head in."

"I thought you'd kick it harder."

"Maybe." 

"Because of Nami." 

He didn’t know if the bushido was right or not. Sanji liked women. He liked the effort it took to woo them, he liked how they thought, he liked kissing them and he liked sleeping with them. He hadn’t changed. He still liked women. But no woman he had ever been with had given him the feeling of wholeness that he felt by being with the snoring lummox beside him.

It wasn’t that he was against it. It was just that it had never occurred to Sanji to like men. 

Nami had been perfection, but their relations (not, Sanji sighed to himself, a relationship) had always been a mix of pleasure and heart-wrenching soul-crushing pain. As had all of his relations with women, if he thought hard enough about it. But he enjoyed it. He liked the chase, and the effort, and how it kept him from ever getting bored.

But the strange thing was, was that it was almost the same with Zoro. The constant bickering, the pull for power, the fights that were always a match of equals. And how neither man ever seemed to hold back, either when they were fighting or making love.

Making love. Sanji’s wheels ground to a halt. He hadn’t called it that yet, either aloud or to himself. 

Zoro was drooling slightly into the pillow, his green hair mussed. The crease between his eyes had cleared, and for once the swordsman looked peaceful.

Sanji smiled at him, for once without the smirk. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Zoro’s open mouth. 

The other man’s lips responded, and a second later the swordsman blinked open bleary eyes. Sanji pulled back, studying him. “Oi,” Zoro mumbled sleepily. “Tired. Sleep.”

“Yeah,” Sanji said, and leaned forward again. He nibbled at Zoro’s bottom lip, then thrust his tongue gently between his teeth. 

Zoro closed his eyes again. For a moment he responded by stroking Sanji’s tongue with his own, but a second later his mouth went slack and he snored right into Sanji’s throat.

Sanji finished his kiss and pulled back, chuckling. 

“Love you,” he mumbled, content that he was the only one who knew.

He let the pull of sleep drag him back under.

*****


	9. Chapter 9

**New Life: Chapter 9**

*****

Sanji was bored out of his mind. 

It was his second day out of bed, the first was so unmentionably dull that he had already forgotten every single thing he'd done (or hadn't done, as the case was). Luffy and Zoro hadn't even let him enter the galley, let alone return to cooking until this morning. And even then, Zoro had silently cleared the table and stalked to the sink before Sanji could even think about it, cleaning and drying the dishes for him like he was some sort of invalid. He'd tried to kick the dumbass, but Luffy had ganged up on him with the doctor, threatening a sentence of a week in bed if he so much as thought of starting a fight.

So here he was, smoking petulantly on deck. 

Otherwise it was an absolutely stunning day. The sun was shining down brightly, making the calm water sparkle beguilingly, and a slight breeze made the temperature pleasant and perfect. 

Luffy was playing some sort of keepaway game with most of the crew, everyone laughing or yelling good-natured threats at one another. It was moments like these that were most nostalgic for Sanji; if he closed his eyes he could almost pretend that it was Usopp and Chopper instead of the new crewmembers making all the noise. If he really tried, he could also pretend that the quiet female conversation that drifted down from the girl's cabin was Nami and Robin instead of Ana and their sharpshooter. 

Zoro was training behind him, the one piece of his past that had returned. It was still strange how comforting it was for him to have the swordsman back, nevermind their new relationship. It gave him hope that maybe - 

Maybe they could all return.

Sanji snorted. Baka.

The cooks on the Baratie had always teased him for being a dreamer. Not much had changed, it seemed.

No, they wouldn't return, because Nami was living her dreamlife as a princess, Usopp had returned to his one true love, and Chopper - 

Well, who knew what the reindeer was doing. But he was sure it was better than the constant chore of keeping him, Zoro and Luffy alive.

And Robin -

The one unknown. He hoped that wherever she was, she was happy.

He hadn't written to Zeff in a while, he mused. He supposed it owed it to the old man to tell him he would never get more little stringbeans running around. Somehow, he didn't think the grizzled pirate-chef would be that surprised. 

Sanji chanced a glance backwards. Zoro's muscles were flexing, shining with a thin sheen of clean sweat, his face a study of focused concentration. 

It must be satisfying, Sanji thought, to have a goal you could actively work on every day. Rather than something as obscure as chasing an ocean that everyone but him and a few other misfits thought was a fairytale. 

The sun was almost above them in the sky. Sanji pushed himself to his feet in one smooth movement, swallowing the automatic hiss of pain as the stitches in his stomach were stretched. He put his hands nonchalently into the pockets of his black dress pants and strolled across the deck, patting himself on the back that he could do it without jerking. 

"Oi, Zoro," Sanji called without turning.

Zoro grunted at him. 

"You better be clean when lunch comes around, or you're gonna be catching your own. You smell like a piece of crusty seaweed that's been lying on the beach."

"Maybe I'll come in and season your dishes with some of my sweat, kuso-cook."

Sanji stopped, and raised an eyebrow. That was almost like usual. He smoothed on a practiced expression of indifference before turning to face the swordsman. "Maybe I'll season your face with some of my kicks, chowder-head."

Zoro narrowed his eyes and pulled his lips back in a grin. He must have been missing this as much as Sanji had. "Is that so? You think you can? I'm the best swordsman in the world now. Think you can still hold your own against me?"

Sanji grinned back at him, excited at the prospect of a good fight, wound in his stomach forgotten. "Yeah, I do, baka-marimo." He dropped back into a fighting stance. 

"You've probably forgotten how to fight without me around to kick your ass." Zoro dropped his hand to one sword, not yet drawing it.

Sanji smirked. "Without you around I've been able to perfect some of my real moves. Instead of taking it easy."

There was a dangerous glint in Zoro's eyes. "Taking it easy. Is that so."

"Yeah. Kuso-swordsman." And with that, he swung a kick at Zoro's head.

It didn't hurt. Much.

Zoro seemed to have bought his act from earlier, because he wasn't holding back as he blocked and countered. Sanji flipped to his hands, rained down a couple of kicks, both of them falling on an empty deck, then danced away. Zoro took a couple of swipes at him, and Sanji saw that his sword was still sheathed. 

"Holding back on me, are you?" Irritated, Sanji pulled a few of his better moves, a spinning kick from above followed by one that shot up from the ground. 

Zoro was apparently not expecting Sanji to be so fast with his injured stomach, because he was forced into an automatic response, a block and counter jab that slammed directly into Sanji's belly.

Sanji crumpled immediately to his hands and knees on the deck, curling inwards on himself like a deflated pastry. Hands gripped his shoulders, alternately and compulsively brushing his hair back from his eyes and smoothing over his cheek. 

Around the rushing in his ears he heard Zoro frantically and worriedly asking if he was all right. It pissed him off, and as soon as the piranhas stopped eating their way out of his intestines he was going to give that dumbass a what-for.

He coughed. Alarmingly, the deck was spattered with red. 

Suddenly, more voices overpowered Zoro's, angry and frantic. He could pick Ana the doctor's high-pitched reprimand above them all. He raised a hand, waving them off, but apparently it had been providing him with some much-needed support because he immediately toppled. He would have hit the deck face-first if the Zoro's strong hands hadn't prevented him from doing so.

He didn't pass out this time, and as soon as he focused on Ana's beet-red face he realized it was more of a curse than a blessing. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, shaking off Zoro's worried embrace.

"'m fine." He insisted.

"What in the hells were you thinking?" Ana screeched at him. 

Sanji looked up defiantly. "I was thinking that I was going to turn into a worthless mound of sea-sponge if something interesting didn't happen soon. You wouldn't even let me cook."

"No." Ana snapped. "Not you. You." She was glowering at Zoro. "You knew he was hurt, kelp-for-brains. What were you thinking engaging him in a fight?"

The fact that she just insulted Zoro like that shocked even him. A weird wave of protectiveness washed over Sanji, and he looked to Zoro to see how he would handle it.

Unnervingly, Zoro not only didn't respond, but he wasn't looking at either of them. Instead he stared at the deck, fists clenched with white knuckles in his lap, head bowed. 

Ana snorted. "It's a wonder any of you lived this long. Someone help me carry this baka-cook to the sick room."

It wasn't Zoro who lifted him. 

He heard Luffy's belated voice asking everyone what happened as two of the men half-carried him after Ana, but then the door to the sick room swung shut, cutting off the commotion.

Once inside, Ana made him lie down on the bed so she could restitch the now-bleeding open wound in his abdomen. Sanji frowned, suppressing the urge to snap at the doctor as she was none-too-gentle with the needle. "Don't be too hard on him, ok?" he said instead.

"Mm?" Ana responded, not looking up from her work. 

"Zoro. And don't you dare tell him I said that. But it's not his fault and he's just gonna beat himself up for it. The dumbass."

Ana sighed and cut the thread. "Fine, whatever. I'll just be harder on you. What the hell were you thinking? Macho pride?"

Sanji sat up only to be pushed right back down. "Oi-" he said weakly in protest.

"Bedridden. Two days." She snapped. "If you didn't notice, you have some lovely internal bleeding. Good job, by the way."

If Sanji squinted, he could almost pretend the woman was Nami.

She hit him lightly on the head. "And if you don't obey, I'm going to tell your damned sweetheart that in a fit of delirium you were asking for your "precious snookum snugglebunny." Try living that down."

Sanji groaned. "My darling Ana is so clever and sweet for looking out for me." He said weakly.

Ana smirked at him, and slapped his leg lightly. "Now sleep."

She left.

He slept.

*****

Two days of hell, and Zoro hadn't even come to visit him once. Luffy had been in and out with some of the other members of the crew, playing cards and getting their carpenter to tell jokes for him. It didn't help a lot, and when Sanji was finally released from his prison he had never been happier to be able to kick Luffy across deck for eating half their stores. 

Zoro was nowhere to be found. Sanji didn't think much of it. Damned marimo was probably napping in the crow's nest or something anyway.

He spent the morning and most of the afternoon cooking the most challenging dishes he could think up. According to their navigator, they were less than a day away from where Zoro claimed he'd found All Blue. He wanted to be in the best shape possible, in the unlikely event that Zoro had actually managed to successfully give them directions. He was already daydreaming about the dishes he could make with the sealife they would find, dishes that no other cook in the whole world had ever made.

The galley door swung open. Sanji hoped it was Zoro so he could try kicking his ass again, now that he was healed.

But it was Luffy's voice that cheerfully asked him, "When's dinner, Sanji? I'm hungry."

Sanji smiled at him. "You just ate a whole plate of pastries."

"Yeah, but now I want some meat."

Sanji turned his head to look at him, continuing to chop ingredients. "You always want meat."

Luffy gave him a blank stare. 

Sanji sighed to himself. He guessed it didn't really matter whether Luffy had a boring palate or not.

"You'll have all the meat you want once we reach All Blue," Sanji said.

Luffy grinned widely. "Oh yeah?" He perched himself on the counter.

"Yeah," Sanji affirmed. "Meat you've never tasted before. Plate after plate of dishes that no one else in the whole world has ever tried."

"I can't wait, Sanji!" Luffy clapped the soles of his feet together, looking for all the world no different than he had when Sanji'd met him.

Sanji grinned back at him. "Me neither." He glanced out the window above the sink and frowned. Trying not to be too obvioius, he said casually, "The marimo isn't sweating all over the deck. He fall asleep again?"

Luffy shook his head. "I don't think so. Haven't seen him around in a while."

"Huh." Sanji said.

Suddenly a loud chorus of cheering came from the deck. Luffy's eyes widened. "Oh! The game!" He hopped down and sprinted towards the door. "Don't skip my turn! Don't skip my turn!" The galley door swung open and closed so quickly Sanji could almost see the trail of dust clouds.

Sanji shook his head and went back to his cooking. It didn't matter where the bakayaro was. He'd see him soon enough at dinner.

But Sanji decided to give the swordsman an extra dose of chilis. 

Teach him to ignore the cook.

*****


	10. Chapter 10

**New Life: Chapter 10**

*****

"Gaaaahch!" Luffy screeched, promptly gathering all the mugs on the galley table and inhaling their contents in one giant gulp. The surprised protests of his crew were all but drowned out as he gargled. 

Sanji looked up from where he was eating by the sink, mildly surprised, but then figured out what had happened and smirked. "That'll teach you to touch food that isn't yours," he said.

Luffy had grabbed the plate of food Sanji had set out for the absent swordsman. Zoro hadn't showed up for dinner. Sanji had chewed three cigarettes down to the nub and had barely touched his dinner, irritation killing any appetite he may have had.

"Hot hot hot hot..." Luffy whined, face tinged purple. "Whose was that, Sanji?"

"Whose do you think?" Sanji asked without looking up.

"I didn't know Zoro liked his food so hot..." Luffy mused. Without missing a beat he grabbed the crew's mugs, newly refilled, out of their hands. Several of them, over their surprise, started to look murderous.

Sanji gritted his teeth. "Yeah, but he asked for it..." he muttered.

"Huh." Luffy said, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Well, if he wanted it that way why didn't he show up?"

Sanji slammed his plate down. "Your turn to do the dishes tonight, choreboy."

He stalked out of the galley.

The deck was empty, and so was the crow's nest. The men's bunk was deserted, and Sanji didn't even bother checking the girls'. Finally the clinking of a bottle being rolled across the wood floor could be heard through the sound of sloshing waves. It was coming from the upper deck, from behind the mikan trees Nami had let them keep.

Sanji glowered. So that's where the dead man was hiding.

He ascended as quietly as possibly, hoping to take Zoro by surprise. When he pushed through the branches, however, he paused. 

Zoro was leaning against an empty mikan pot, knees pulled up to his chest. His forhead rested in his palms, and his mouth was stretched downward in an unhappy line, lips thin. One empty bottle of rum was rolling around beside him, and another, half-full bottle was resting by his hip.

Sanji narrowed his eyes angrily. That bastard. What did he think he was doing? That was enough rum to get even the baka in front of him inebriated, and the last thing any of them wanted was to find his drunken, inflated body floating face down in the water. Although at the moment the thought was tempting.

As Sanji watched, still unmoving, Zoro's fingers curled into his green hair, his shoulders hunching forward. Suddenly some of Sanji's anger dissipated. Whatever this was, it wasn't normal. And it wasn't good.

"Oi," he called softly. 

Zoro made a half-hearted attempt to jump to his feet but only managed to scoot backwards a foot, nearly falling over. His surprised, wide-eyed expression quickly sank into a black glare. "What're you doing up here, cook?"

Cook. It shouldn't bother him, but the impersonal way he said it twisted something painful in Sanji. Sanji walked forward silently, and dropped to the deck beside his nakama. Not looking at him, he leaned against the pot and waited until Zoro's breathing slowed and he moved closer, returning to his former position. 

The water was choppier than it had been in weeks, white lines capping some of the waves. The breeze was still warm, however, and the twilight sky was clear, grey tinged with pink.

"If this is about what happened," Sanji started, "It's ok. I started it. I thought I was better, but..." He wouldn't go so far to say it aloud, but he hoped his insinuation was enough. "My fault."

Zoro sucked in a ragged breath. "Shouldn't have fought you." He said.

Sanji glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "Then you would have got your ass kicked, because I wasn't going to stop."

Zoro closed his eyes and tilted his head back. A thick silence blanketed the air between them before Zoro finally spoke. 

"There was a girl. When I was young. Never beat her. Not once."

Sanji's ears perked up, but he kept silent. He sensed that this was important, possibly in the way that meant that Zoro was finally telling him about his past.

"Kuina. She died. She probably would have been the greatest swordsman in the world, not me, but she died because she fell down a flight of stairs."

Sanji's head whipped around to stare at Zoro, wide-eyed. Kuina. So it hadn't been him Zoro had been dreaming about the other night. That was the name that was on his lips as he had thrashed and muttered in his sleep.

"It was a stupid way to go." Zoro finally opened his eyes and looked at him. The swordsman's eyes were sad, and tired. None of their usual intensity was there. "I don't want it to be a stupid way for you, Sanji."

Sanji turned and grabbed Zoro's shoulder, hard, nails digging into his flesh. He glared at him hard, deadly serious. "Look here, you dumb marimo. Hitting me once with a damned sheath isn't going to kill me, even in a day-old wound. And some stupid navyman's spear isn't either. So stop with your damned guilt trip and stop looking at me like I'm going to break." He shook his shoulder for good measure.

Zoro's eyes widened, but after a moment he shrugged off Sanji's hand. Instead of answering he reached for the bottle of rum. Sanji kicked it out of his hand, and it toppled overboard.

"Hey!" Zoro shouted angrily. "There was still good rum in that!"

"And there's enough rum in you." Sanji said calmly. 

Zoro threw a punch at him, but the swordsman's aim was off. Sanji ducked it easily and lay a light kick into Zoro's stomach. It was enough to send the swordsman to his ass but not enough to hurt him.

Zoro lay propped of his elbows, breathing heavily. He looked like he had given up on everything. He watched Sanji silently through half-open eyes, waiting for his next move. 

Sanji crawled over the deck and threaded himself through Zoro's open thighs until he hovered over the swordsman, face to face. Zoro fell back onto the deck. His face looked like it was on the verge of crumpling. Sanji wrinkled his nose at the swordsman. 

"Too much thinking, marimo," he said. "And you stink." He lowered his head and gently took Zoro's lip between his teeth. 

Zoro exhaled, hot breath bathed in alcohol washing across his face. Sanji didn't mind. He ran a tongue over Zoro's mouth and then pushed inside, finding the other man's tongue.

Zoro lay there, limp and taking it, despite the response Sanji could feel growing in other areas. Sanji ran a hand up his chest to cup his face, brushing his cheek and temple tenderly. He laced his fingers through Zoro's hair, bringing his head up to deepen their kiss.

Finally Zoro responded, in a sudden burst of movement, pushing Sanji's tongue back into his mouth and gripping his back, hands clutching at the fabric of Sanji's suit frantically. A moment later found Sanji flipped on his back, Zoro propped on his hands over him, face shadowed. "I don't want to lose you." The swordsman stated.

"Keep me happy and you won't," Sanji replied. "Baka."

He grabbed the fabric under Zoro's chin and pulled him down into another kiss, Zoro exploring his mouth more assertively than he would any woman's. He tasted like sweet rum and salt, and something that was Zoro's own musk. It was the last that Sanji found himself addicted to. 

He tugged on Zoro's haramaki, flipping off his own shoes and toeing at Zoro's boots at the same time. Sanji shrugged off his jacket with Zoro's help, and as he rained kisses across Zoro's throat the swordsman fumbled with Sanji's buttons. For once not caring, Sanji grasped Zoro's hands and helped him tear the fabric open. 

Zoro immediately left off ravishing Sanji's mouth to lick a hot trail down to the waistband of his pants. Nervous they would receive the same treatment, Sanji unbuckled his belt and pushed them down for the swordsman. A good pair of pants was harder to replace than a shirt. 

Zoro had shrugged out of his black tee, his chest bathed in the glow of the rising moon, hip-to-shoulder scar outlined starkly against the skin. A few others surrounded it now, ones that Sanji assumed had been earned in the latest fight with Mihawk. He traced a few shorter ones, outlined below Zoro's left nipple. 

Zoro watched his face. "Mihawk." he explained gently.

Sanji nodded, fingers trailing to another. It was thicker, less artful.

"Stupid mistake in a tourney." Zoro said. "Damned kids think they can fight."

Sanji ran his palm down Zoro's stomach, tugging down his pants and using his feet to push them the rest of the way off. He ran his hands over Zoro's exposed hipbones, avoiding the hard warmth that was dripping wetness onto his belly. 

Finally Zoro pulled off Sanji's boxers, a pair of plain green shorts that almost matched Zoro's hair. Suddenly the air seemed thick and important, and neither man seemed to want to move.

"What is this?" Zoro finally said. He watched Sanji's face carefully.

But the words that Sanji felt comfortable saying to him in his sleep suddenly felt too trite to say aloud here. Not when he said them over and over to every girl he met, not when Zoro knew that he did just that.

So instead he said simply, "This is us."

And it was true. 

It seemed to be enough for the swordsman as well because he ducked, taking Sanji's hard length between his lips, sliding his tongue from underneath to tease his head into weeping. Sanji trembled despite himself under Zoro's administrations, fisting his hands into the other man's short hair but being careful not to restrain him. Brought to the cusp, Sanji let out an involuntary groan as Zoro abruptly pulled away with one last suck. He leaned forward to whisper in Sanji's ear, "We don't have anything up here."

Sanji smirked at him, reaching into the pocket of his discarded pants. He pulled out a small bottle of cooking oil. 

Zoro snorted, breaking the moment for a second. "The hell?"

Sanji shrugged. "You never know." The truth was he'd just shoved it in his pocket while he was preparing dinner. Preoccupied as he had been, he had forgotted to take it out.

Zoro smirked and took the bottle from Sanji, bending over to kiss the cook's lips as he coated himself and prepared Sanji's entrance. Slowly, he entered Sanji, first with one digit, then with another, working them until Sanji was brought back to the edge.

"Zoro." Sanji hissed. "Soon."

Zoro smiled at him and pulled his fingers out, for once obliging the cook. He angled his hips and pressed his tip again Sanji's tight entrance.

With one smooth movement, he thrust in. 

Sanji pushed his hips up to meet each thrust, burying Zoro to his hilt even as the other man's hardness dragged against his nub. It was no longer just sensual. Their movements were frantic, and basic, and filled with need.

Zoro wrapped a tongue around Sanji's nipple, dragging with his teeth. The added sensation pushed an already over-stimulated Sanji to the edge, and he came with a throaty cry.

A moment later Zoro came, shooting hot liquid deep within the chef. Zoro collapsed gently onto Sanji, slick skin molding together, chests falling against each other in ragged breaths. 

Zoro pulled out gently, causing aftershocks of sensation. Suddenly he dropped his forhead to Sanji's. "Love you." He mumbled. His shoulders were tense despite the afterglow, waiting for Sanji's reaction.

"Marimo." Sanji stated. He couldn't say anything else.

Zoro let out a long breath and claimed Sanji's mouth, kissing him deeply. Sighing contentedly into it, he wrapped his arms around Zoro's back, gripping his shoulders and writhing underneath him. Zoro hummed, then pulled back.

He looked happy. 

Sanji supposed he did too.

He wanted to stay up there and sleep, but he knew sooner or later Luffy or one of the others would come looking for them. He reached for his clothes, Zoro did the same. They both climbed to their feet, pulling on their shoes. Sanji's shirt was beyond repair, but if he buttoned up his jacket it didn't look much different. 

It wasn't exactly an uncomfortable silence, but it was silence nonetheless. Sanji supposed that really, there was nothing left to say.

They were met with cheers and catcalls when they finally descended, which predictably prompted Zoro to try and kill the nearest several of their nakama. Luffy was sitting in the rigging, grinning down at them. Sanji hoped the view wasn't as clear as it looked to be from up there. "You made a lot of noise," he explained cheerfully.

Momentarily, Sanji decided Zoro had it right. He stalked forward. Luffy let out a happy yelp and took off, Sanji close behind.

Soon after, the deck erupted in mayhem as the rest of the crew decided to join in, choosing sides.

Life as usual on the Going Merry.

*****


	11. Chapter 11

**New Life: Chapter 11**

*****

Sanji had the early watch the next morning, and so was the only one awake when the sun rose red in the sky. The choppy water from the night before had only gotten worse, even though the sky was still as clear as blue crystal. Spectacular colors were spreading overhead with the sunrise, deep oranges and fuscia that bathed their deck in warm light. 

From experience Sanji knew that this was not a good sign. He started to prepare the ship for the coming storm as much as he could on his own. He figured they had a few hours before it hit at the least, which was more than enough time to let the crew to get some sleep. He could do most of it by himself anyway, except for the securing of the sails.

The sea was empty on all sides. There were no other ships on the water, and with his bare eyes Sanji could see no sign of land. With the telescope, for that matter, he could see no sign of land. They could try using the wind that had picked up to outrun the storm, but it was blowing in the opposite direction of where they were headed. There was no telling how far off course they could end up, and Sanji wasn't about to risk that. Not when they were less than a day from their destination.

From All Blue.

A sudden breeze tossed his hair and rippled through his clothes. Water sloshed over the deck as a sudden gust hit their sails, throwing the ship sideways. Sanji skidded across the deck.

"Damn." Sanji grabbed the rigging, holding on as the ship righted itself. He flipped dripping blond hair out of his eyes. He was wrong about how long they had. Normal storms didn't pick up that quickly. 

Suddenly worried, he sprinted across the deck to the cabin, but the door opened before he got there. A sleepy Luffy and a very grumpy-looking Zoro stumbled out, followed by the rest of the men. 

"Storm?" Luffy mumbled, then shot awake. "Storm! Get the sails up!"

The crew scattered, equally alert.

Ana and their sharpshooter emerged a moment later from the women's quarters, dressed only in their nightclothes. They fell into the action quickly, securing their stores and tying down what they couldn't fit inside the galley.

Just as the crew started to raise the last sail, an enormous burst of wind caught the fabric. It billowed out, stretching until a horrific tearing sound signalled enough damage to set them back by days. The entire crew fell to the deck, scrabbling at the boards as they shot sideways toward the railing. 

The sky was as dark as twilight, even though a mere moment before Sanji had been watching the sun rise into a bright dawn. The rain came a moment later in torrents, erratic patterns that were the sign of a storm even pirates didn't want to be caught on the water in.

Luffy had wrapped himself around the base of the crow's nest, and Sanji managed to secure himself again in the rigging, but Zoro for some reason was running across the deck. Squinting through the downpour, Sanji saw the reason. The swordsman's precious white sword was floating haphazardly towards the railing, pulled by a quick current.

That shitheaded, moronic, seaweed-haired bastard swordsman. What the hell did Zoro think he was doing? Waves the size of a small house were headed towards their ship, and anyone not holding on was sure to be swept overboard. 

With a curse, Sanji disentangled himself and shot across the deck, slipping in the sloshing pool of water. He heard Luffy screaming his name. Before he could reach the swordsman he was yanked unexpectedly backwards. He landed with a loud thwap against the crow's nest, Luffy's rubbery arm secured around him. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Luffy shouted above the wind. "You'll get swept overboard!"

"So will Zoro!" Sanji yelled. "His katana -"

Luffy's arm shot out again, reaching for Zoro. Sanji scrabbled at the pole, wrapping his legs around it as tightly as he could.

The wave slammed over the deck before Luffy's hand could grab hold of him. Sanji snatched frantically at Luffy, who almost was swept away as he was taken by surprise. He managed to grab a fistful of the rubberman's shirt, pulling him back up. 

Luffy was screaming something. Sanji strained his ears before he could make out the chant: "Hat, hat, hat..."

Sure enough, when the wave cleared, their captain's hat was gone. 

So was Zoro. 

Sanji let go of the pole and ran to the railing, pushing off Luffy's arm. Zoro's white katana was wedged between two rails, caught in a bundle of seaweed. He snatched it up and leaned as far over the railing as he could go, but there was no sign of a person in the sloshing water.

He made to jump overboard but a harsh grip prevented him from doing so. He glanced back to find Luffy staring at him, lips thin. 

"Zoro's down there, you bastard!" He screamed. His voice was lost in the wind.

A second wave rocked the Going Merry. Sanji tried desperately to hold onto both the katana and the railing, but the pull was too strong. The sword was ripped from his fingers as he gargled salty water.

The ship righted itself again and Sanji vomited over the railing. He fell to his knees.

Fucking marimo. Everything was spinning. That fucking swordsman. Swords weren't worth a life. He had trusted even Zoro would know that.

Another wave crashed over the deck. Sanji managed to hold on, almost absentmindedly. 

The storm continued on, rocking the ship like a toy in a child's bathtub. Sanji hung on numbly as the waves crashed over the deck, one after another. The Merry creaked and swayed and cracked as pieces of her were torn visciously away by the sea.

The final wave cleared and suddenly Sanji was knocked forward as something solid but bouyant smacked him in his head. Dazed, he expected, illogically, to find that Luffy had hit him, but looking down there was a large fish flopping on the deck by his knee. 

The Going Merry abruptly righted itself, throwing the crew who had been clinging to the railing back to the deck with a collective shout. 

Sanji barely noticed as the storm clouds cleared and the sun broke out from behind their dark curtain, shining in sparkling rays down on the ocean.

The fish that was gasping for air by his leg should not have been in this part of the Grand Line.

Should not have been anywhere near it. 

Sanji pushed himself unsteadily to his feet. The deck was a mess, their sails ripped possibly beyond repair, their crow's nest missing a railing on one side. The crew were disheveled and bewildered. But Sanji ignored all of it, stumbling instead to the railing to stare into crystal-clear water, now as calm as glass.

Underneath its surface, he saw a school of fish swim by. 

Then another. 

One was a cold-water species; the other was warm. 

And that fish, there, he had never seen before in his life.

He felt a smile pull his lips upward, but it felt unsteady even to him. Genuine and broken.

All Blue.

"All Blue." He said. "All Blue!" He shouted. He held on to the railing to keep himself from going overboard, knuckles white, whole body shaking. 

"All Blue," he muttered again, quietly.

 

Zoro had been right. He had found All Blue.

He had brought Sanji to his dream. 

It wasn't worth it. 

He laughed a couple times, then sobbed into the warm breeze that touched his face. He dropped to his knees. He took the fish by his leg and tossed it back into the water, watched it swim away.

"Zoro." An empty voice said by his ear. He felt a rubber arm wrap around his shoulders. "Zoro." The arm began to shake.

Sanji turned and pulled Luffy into a tight hug. They sobbed into each other, bodies wracking. Sanji hunched over Luffy's head, burying his face into Luffy's black hair.

Slowly, Sanji sensed the others walk hesitantly up to them.

"Is this?" Their shipbuilder Guri started hesitantly. "Is it?"

Sanji couldn't answer him, and Luffy wouldn't.

"Yes," Ana answered for them both. 

"All Blue."

*****


	12. Chapter 12

**New Life: Chapter 12**

*****

This time, there was no pouring of rum into the sea. 

There was no sodden green haramaki to lay beside them.

There was no comfort to be had in each other's company, because while before they had each lost the same person, now they had lost someone who meant something different to them both. 

Luffy had lost the same person he had before.

Sanji had lost someone different.

It wasn't the same as when they had said goodbye, one by one, to their nakama. Each of them had hurt to wave goodbye to, behind the smiles and well-wishes, but Sanji had managed to take comfort in the fact that they were still out there somewhere, living under the same sky. He could ignore losing them because rooted deep was the hope that he could see them again.

It wasn't that way this time. 

It wasn't emptiness. He felt full. He felt like he had taken in all the emotion in the world, and it was now pushing out from his being, eating him away from the inside. He felt like he had been turned inside out, his skin raw and his nerves sensitive, everything unprotected. Everything too clear, too sharp, and at the same time it had faded back from him. He didn't feel connected to anything. He felt like he'd been dropped in a bottle, watching the world from inside a cage of glass. 

He was just waiting for it to break.

The crew milled around, repairing what damage they could. An island had come into sight shortly after the storm had stilled. It had tossed them a days' worth of travel ahead, it seemed, right into the heart of All Blue.

Sanji tried to care. He tried to feel some sense of satisfaction, of peace. Every time he came close to feeling anything, joy or otherwise, his entire being cringed and danced back from it.

Danced back from the abyss. It waited for him, black and patient.

He and Luffy hadn't moved, holding each other close and still. They both stared numbly out to sea, hardly registering the beautiful aquamarine of All Blue, or the rainbow-colored fish that leapt and twisted in the water. A warm sun beat down on their faces.

All they could feel was cold.

Someone had wrapped a blanket around their shoulders. Sanji didn't know who.

They hadn't turned back. They were so far from the place where the waves had taken Zoro that a search would have been pointless. Besides that, the Going Merry had taken too much damage and no longer could be forced to go anywhere. They were simply drifting at the moment towards the island, in stasis.

The afternoon faded on. At some point Sanji mentioned listlessly, "You lost your hat."

Luffy just dropped his head to Sanji's chest. 

*****

The days following the storm were blurry in Sanji's memory at best. They had arrived on Torakara Island a day later after a fishing boat caught sight of them and had the authorities drag them in. Authorities, it turned out, who had no idea a world navy even existed. They couldn't care less whether they were pirates because, they explained cheerfully, most of the populace was. Including the authorities themselves.

The Merry began to undergo repairs, and Sanji enlisted the crew and some of the locals to help him build a floating restaurant. The Straw Hats had been well prepared for this day, having helped Sanji store away his percent of the treasure they found carefully, plus a little more. 

It turned out that there had been a restaurant here before, but when people from the outside stopped coming, abruptly it seemed to the islanders, it had fallen into disrepair. The mayor of the town gifted it to Sanji with the hope of drawing tourists in, and even offered to front most of the costs of repairs.

It didn't take long for their navigator to discover that All Blue was cut off from the rest of the Grand Line by a massive storm front. It explained why the ocean was so elusive, why the outsiders stopped coming and why so many different types of fish were found in these waters. 

To Sanji's delight, it turned out that the Torakaran cooks were the best he'd ever found, even if he'd never admit it aloud. Seasonings and edible plants he'd never come across, varied and delicious, grew in abundance on the island. Foreign strains of seaweed were plentiful in the shallow waters, and there were fruits that almost made him weep with their taste. 

As the crew of the Going Merry prepared their ship, Sanji went from restaurant to restaurant recruiting, until he had assembled a fine staff, all ex-pirates, willing to work under him. Somehow he felt like even Zeff couldn't find fault with them. Not that Sanji would ever let them know, of course.

The Restaurant of Three Swords was opened three months after the Going Merry was dragged into Torakara's harbor. Luffy and his crew stayed for one month after that. According to the locals, the storm broke for just one month twice a year, mysteriously fading away only to return stronger than before. Luffy was getting antsy for the sea. He couldn't wait another year to leave. Even though Sanji burned for Luffy to stay with him, it was time for the Pirate King to return to his ocean.

The night before the Straw Hats' departure, Luffy found Sanji in his room in his new restaurant. It was still tethered to the dock, but far out enough that one had to take a skiff to get there. Sanji was sitting by the one window in his room, feet propped on his desk, absentmindedly smoking a cigarette. It was nearly burned down to the nub, like the twenty others on the desk. The moonlight made the clear waters of All Blue glow iridescently, and if he could force himself to care he would have admitted it was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. But really all he saw as he stared blankly out was choppy black water churning beneath torrential rain.

Luffy's hand fell on his shoulder as he entered the room. There was a moment where he stood there silently, companionably, before he set a stack of papers gently on the desk. After a moment Sanji stubbed out his cigarette and sat up to see what they were.

Zoro's face stared back at him. It was a pile of wanted posters, one for each of the original nakama. Luffy, Nami, Chopper, Usopp, Robin. 

Zoro. 

Sanji's face crumpled. For a moment he couldn't speak. Then, surprising both of them, he threw himself to the floor at Luffy's feet. He touched his head to the newly-finished wood. 

"Luffy," he gasped. "I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry."

He was jerked upright by a firm fist in his collar. Luffy glared at him. "Nothing to be sorry for, Sanji. I made you a promise. We all knew this was going to be a dangerous trip. We all almost died more than once. And Zoro chose to do this with us. He chose to help us find All Blue. And wherever he is, I don't think he's sorry." He paused for breath. "I'm not sorry."

"You lost your hat." Sanji stated uselessly.

Luffy shrugged. "Shanks will understand. Friends are more important."

But Sanji could see the glimmer of pain in his eyes.

"I killed Zoro with my stupid dream." He stated finally. It felt like he had just dragged a shard of glass upwards from his stomach to his throat with that statement. 

But it was truth, and that, if anything, was what he owed Luffy.

Luffy punched him.

He dropped to the deck, tasting blood on his lip. He stayed bowed, blond hair falling into his eyes, refusing to look up until Luffy grabbed him by his chin and pulled him back to his feet. 

"Don't you ever, ever say that." Luffy growled. "And don't think it either. Zoro wanted this. The crew wanted this. Zeff wanted this. I wanted this. We all wanted you to find your dream. To find All Blue." His eyes softened, and for once Sanji could see the wisdom that shone in him, the magic that had prompted them all to abandon their lives and follow him without a second thought. To follow him here."Life isn't worth living without dreams, Sanji. And dreams aren't worth having unless you're willing to risk everything for them."

"Even friends?" Sanji asked quietly.

Without missing a beat, Luffy shook his head, contradicting himself immediately. "But it wasn't our choice. It was his choice, and it was a stupid choice. His sword wasn't worth his life. But he chose."

Sanji stood silently for a moment, watching the emotions as they progressed on his former captain's face. Slowly he reached out and drew Luffy to him. "Thank you," he repeated softly.

Luffy nodded against his chest, tears soaking through his jacket. "I-" he stopped before he started.

But Sanji nodded. "I wish I could come with you, too," he said.

They lay together on the bed, silent but awake, until the morning sun rose over the ocean.

*****

The Going Merry was ready to leave before noon. Sanji had taken a moment aside with each of their crew, thanking them and hugging them and crying tears he'd promised he wouldn't shed. 

It felt like it had on the Baratie. Nostalgia made the pain worse, the present tearing open an old wound he'd thought had healed.

Somehow, he managed to smile at them all. He owed them so much, an armful of debts he knew he could never repay.

Idly he wondered if he'd ever see any of them again.

He supposed not.

"We'll tell the world of your restaurant, Sanji." Luffy called down to him, perched as usual on the figurehead. It was unnerving to see his hair blown wild by the breeze, uncovered by his straw hat. "The Restaurant of Three Swords! It will be the best in the world. I know it."

"Of course it will," Sanji called back, an echo of his old attitude tinging his voice. "And you better come back to eat in it. On the house. All of you."

Guri pulled up their anchor. The Merry started to drift away from the port.

Sanji felt a sudden wrench, like he had been speared in the gut all over again. But it passed quickly. He was where he was supposed to be. Zoro had given his life to get him there.

Sanji fingered the long sliver of a scar on his arm. He was living for them both now.

"Don't worry, Sanji!" Luffy had shouted back cheerfully from the deck of his retreating home, "We'll be back. And we'll bring the others! I promise!" 

Sanji stayed and watched until the ocean was once again flat and empty.

*****

They had a surprise party for him that night, all of Sanji's newly-assembled staff hiding in the dining room until he snuck in after midnight to find the largest bottle of rum they owned. All of the bastards jumped out at him and nearly gave him a heart attack.

They thwarted him from drinking alone, but at least they didn't stop him from drinking. Sanji let himself be pulled into a seat near the middle of the room, two of the waiters teasing him good-naturedly and shouting "Kanpai!" every other minute until they were all drunker than a land-bound sailor.

An hour or so later he managed to extract himself from the merrymakers, stumbling outside and across the deck to look outwards over the ocean, in the direction the sun would rise in less than two hours. It was also the direction the Merry had sailed off in only a few hours earlier. Still clutching a bottle of rum, he took a large swig and dumped the rest in the ocean, the liquid sparkling in the moonlight as it fell.

So this was it. 

His dream.

His life.

Sanji buried his face in his palm, resting his elbow on the railing and tangling his fingers through his messy hair. He ignored the dampness he felt dripping down his arm.

"Don't worry, Sanji!" Luffy had shouted, "We'll be back. And we'll bring the others! I promise!" 

Luffy had never broken a promise yet.

But, Sanji figured, there was always room for a person to develop a new bad habit.

He rubbed his face on his sleeve and forced a grin, joining his new companions in the warmth of the dining hall with a loud cheer.

*****

It didn't take Sanji long to rebuild his image as a womanizer, and even less time to get waitresses and female customers alike into his bed.

It took even less time for him to scream Zoro's name out in the heat of sex.

After that embarrassing incident (the woman was kind and said she'd keep it to herself), he took to the more solitary form of pleasure. He didn't stop his flirting, but he left more than a few irritated women to fend for themselves once it got farther than a kiss.

And all the while, he managed to lie so convincingly to himself that he almost believed that he was simply too busy for that sort of thing. That it wasn't a recurring dream of green and black and skin and muscle that kept him from going farther. 

*****

It was less than three months before his floating restaurant was world-reknown. He was booked full for another six. Not yet trusting his finely picked crew of chefs, he insisted on preparing most of the main courses himself, but no one really seemed to mind. Instead, the majority of the kids would stand around and watch him, while pretending to do other menial chores, hoping that he wouldn't notice and order them away. He did notice, but he let them watch, figuring it might help them improve the slop they cooked.

Slop which was already the best in the entire Grand Line. But nevermind that.

It was somewhere around five months when he finally got a reply from the Baratie. He was smoking on his bed in his cabin when the waiter tentatively knocked on his door, bearing the weather-beaten envelope. He had sent a note to the old geezer the day after the Merry had left, letting him know he'd found the Grand Line and that letting him follow his dream hadn't been a mistake. 

He waved the boy out. He left with a curious stare but didn't say anything. It was common knowledge among the staff that Sanji was Red-Leg's prodigy, and the fact caused no shortage of gossip or interest.

The reply was short. It said simply: "Knew you could do it, string bean."

Enclosed with the note was a will. Without reading it, Sanji flipped back to the note. It was dated more than a year ago. 

Which meant Zeff had never gotten his message. He had written it without knowing for sure whether or not Sanji had ever found All Blue.

So his intuition had been right on the day he left the Baratie with Luffy's crew. He really had never seen his old man again.

With faintly shaking hands he opened the will. He was fine with it. He would inherit the Baratie, he could run it - the kids here would do just fine, they didn't really need him - he'd keep Zeff's dream alive -

He dropped the will to the bed. 

Patti had inherited the restaurant.

Furthermore, it was expressly specified that Sanji was never, never to work on the Baratie again.

"That - bastard geezer..." Sanji hissed between clenched teeth, head bowed. "Thinks he's so smart. Thinks he -"

Zeff was still looking out for him, even in death. He knew Sanji would drop all that he had worked for in a moment. He knew Sanji still felt the guilt, the debt he owed him.

Sanji had never hated him as he did in that moment, even when they were on the island and he'd been ready to murder the man for his food. He'd died without seeing Sanji's restaurant, without tasting his food. He'd denied him even the release of working off his debt on the Baratie until the day he died. He was left with nothing, no release and nowhere to return home to. He'd never had the chance to thank him, at least not properly. To prove to him once and for all that he was more than just a dreamer.

He supposed in the end he had never had to.

The next day another letter appeared, inviting him to the service. It turned out the old chef had only recently passed, and the old crew was having a memorial for him, even though his body had long since been sent out to sea. 

Sanji went and returned and wasn't much changed for the experience of going back home.

The night he came back to All Blue he dumped three crates of rum into the ocean, screaming at his help until they finally left him alone. He had had this experience before. Only this time, there was no Luffy to take comfort with or to share the pain. Sanji was completely alone in his grief.

The next day he was back in the kitchens, and the others chefs soon discovered that any mention of the incident or expression of sympathy would be quickly rewarded with a sharp kick to the head, followed by several other less generous blows.

Another month and life aboard the restaurant fell into a comfortable rhythm. Sanji took to spending long hours alone in his cabin, away from the constant flow of strangers and the demands of his help. 

Every so often some excitement was had when a pirate ship attacked or the navy came to claim the bounty on his head or, less frequently, on someone else's, but aside from that the rest of the year passed by in relative ease. Uneventful and calm, like the waters of All Blue itself. The seasons in the strange ocean were so similar that the weather didn't seem to change at all. Sanji almost felt bored. 

There was never a shortage of new sea life to experiment with, however, and in that respect Sanji had found some peace. The walls of the kitchen became filled with foreign awards, and soon his bedroom walls were covered with plaques as well.

It was strange, how all the multitudes of compliments never seemed to satisfy him as much as the one ungracious grunt he used to receive for his efforts. It was strange how a mere six could outweigh the praise of the world.

It was strange, he mused, that somedays the yearning for just one good fight, just one more chance to check the strength of his kicks against three impossibly sharp blades, overpowered all the pride and all the satisfaction those awards gave him.

***** 

His birthday came and went without a celebration, although he'd been sure to bake six other cakes throughout the year. He'd been keeping more and more to himself, so it could have just been that the other chefs were afraid of saying anything, considering the violent reaction he had to most of their efforts to be companionable with him. 

It was the first time he could ever remember spending his birthday alone.

Soon after that the one-year anniversary of the Going Merry's departure came. He had come down with a bad cold (at least, he told himself and everyone else that that was why he felt so shitty)and so spent the overcast day in his cabin, staring at wanted posters he hadn't taken out for twelve months. He lay unmoving on his back, spread-eagled and staring listlessly at the ceiling, following the trail smoke as it spiraled upwards from his mouth. 

This was his dream.

*****


	13. Chapter 13

**New Life: Chapter 13**

 

*****

It was one year, four months and five days since the Going Merry had set sail when Sanji was woken late in the morning by sultry fingers running through his hair.

He was mostly still asleep, processing only the warm palm he pressed his face into greedily.

The fingers paused, then continued. Gently stroking, comforting, constant.

The dream was still fresh in his mind. The sensations brought peace, and for a moment he believed it was real. He felt a feeling he hadn't felt in a long while. Joy. Happiness. He mumbled sleepily, lips brushing against the palm, "Zoro."

The hand stopped its movement as though startled. 

The soft-spoken woman's voice that came from the foot of his bed shattered the moment. "Ah," was the throaty sigh, a touch of revealation in the word. "I see."

Panic, accompanied by a long fall back into reality.

Sanji's eyes shot open as he scrambled up against the headboard. There were two of them in the room then. There was no way the woman could reach his head, and be speaking by his feet.

And he had locked the door, as he always did. So how did -

His eyes focused. He was still dreaming. Hallucinating. Out of them all -

"Sanji," the woman was murmuring. The hand, impossibly, was back in his hair. Caressing him gently. Trying to calm him. "It's going to be okay."

The breath stopped in his throat. He froze.

The hand by his head disappeared. 

"Robin." He choked. 

Nico Robin smiled at him, sitting on a chair by the door. Still locked. Outside he could hear panicked shouts, knocking as his help tried to kick his door down.

"OI!" He shouted, never taking his eyes off of the woman in front of him. "OI! Stand down, or you're all going on permanent leave!"

"But Sanji!" He recognized the voice of his head chef Yusef shout. "She could be dangerous! We couldn't stop her! I have no idea how she - "

"Fool!" Sanji shouted back. "Don't you know who this is? Of course she's dangerous! Leave us alone!"

Silence accompanied his words.

"Now!" He shouted.

He heard the men pause. A moment later dejected-sounding thuds echoed down the stairs.

The small smile never left Robin's lips.

"You've changed," she said.

But Sanji wasn't looking at her anymore. He was looking at the white sword laying on her lap, above gracefully crossed legs. 

"Wadou." He said.

The smile on her face widened, imperceptible to anyone except her former nakama. "The storm gave it to us." She said. 

"You didn't wait?" Sanji gasped. It wasn't the season of the break in the perpetual storm on the edge of All Blue. Which meant -

His chest seized. She could have -

He scrambled out of bed and tackled her unceremoniously. Something he never would have dreamed to do before, but now, after - 

How long had it been? Three years? Five?

He clutched the taller woman to him, and she melted gratifyingly in his arms. Something she never would have done before. 

She placed the sword on the chair and clutched him to her. A third hand ghosted over the back of his head. A moment later, embarrassed, he pulled back, not meeting her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Robin - " he started.

She pulled his chin up with that third hand. She smiled, genuine. "I've missed you, too, Sanji."

He nodded. His eyes trailed back to the sword on the chair.

"Yes," Robin said, "I was wondering about that."

"Hn." Sanji agreed, not quite ready to answer her question. He had managed not to think about him or them in months. At least not while he was awake.

But he supposed that nothing could stay buried for long, not on the Grand Line. Least of all the past.

So he merely said to her, "I would like to hear your story as well. Give me a moment to dress, and I'll cook you some breakfast."

She laughed musically. "Lunch by this time, Sanji." 

"I guess I was asleep for too long," Sanji mused.

Robin's eyes darkened, and for a moment Sanji believed she was talking about more than bed rest. "I think you were, too."

She unlocked the door and paused. "I'll wait for you below," she said.

She left the sword on his chair.

*****

The reunited nakama ate their lunch in silence, waiting until the last bite was gone until they spoke more than niceties. What each had to say was too important for the distraction of eating.

His staff hovered by the edges of the room, watching them warily and muttering balefully. Most of the customers in the room had since recognized Robin, perhaps from the wanted posters still in abundance, and were also watching them surreptitiously. Sanji ignored both groups, focused on the woman in front of him.

"It was delicious, Sanji." Robin said. "I believe the best you've ever made." She wiped off her lips although there was nothing on them as far as Sanji could see. She smiled, looking around the room. "Your restaurant is everything I thought it would be."

"Thank you, Robin." Sanji said. Her words meant more to him than all the praise he had received until that point, bringing up a sharp pride. He grinned at her and spread his arms. "My dream," he said. It was the first real sense of satisfaction he had felt since opening the Three Swords.

She inclined her head.

Without preamble, she continued, "I found what I was looking for. Several things. Then I lost them." She met his eyes. There was no new sadness in them, only a glimmer in them very similar to the peace Sanji had seen in Zoro's, once. "It is for the best. I wasn't meant to have what I was seeking." 

Sanji didn't ask her any questions. There was something about the woman that demanded that she be allowed to keep her secrets. 

Sanji was equally as nervous. He told her about finding Zoro's haramaki, about finding Zoro alive after all of it. He told her that Zoro had given him the map that had led them to All Blue. He skipped what didn't need to be said, and told her about the storm. 

Simple and concise. The words were devoid of emotion, his voice flat. He hadn't felt anything about it since the Merry had left. 

Hadn't felt much of anything else, either. 

A smooth hand gripped his own that were folded before him on the table. He felt a slight tremble run through the cool fingers. 

Robin's eyes were wide and wet. "I heard that Zoro had left our crew to find Mihawk, and I heard that he had won. I even heard that he was sailing with the Straw Hats again. With you." She sighed, and her usual expression fell back into place, deep and sad like the ocean itself. Calm, absorbing the hurt like she absorbed all of it dealt to her in her life. "I hadn't heard that he died," she said softly. "I lost news of you, only hearing recently about this restaurant." She managed to smile. "The name caught my interest."

Sanji refused to acknowledge the moisture he felt on his face. 

"Sanji," she said, almost brusquely, letting go of his hand, "would you mind so much if I -"

"Stay." He demanded before she could finish. "Please."

She smiled then, large and real. "I can't cook for you, or -"

Sanji shook his head vigorously. "All you need to do, Robin, is stay here with me for a while. You don't have to do anything."

She nodded, accepting his answer. "I can promise no more than a year," she said.

But Sanji had stopped listening. "Yusef! Golstep! Prepare one of the guest rooms for Ms. Nico! One with a view! Lazy sops," he added, almost as an afterthought. 

And with his words, he felt a piece of himself return.

*****

He hung Zoro's sword Wadou above his bed, although he knew that it would bring the restaurant even more fame than it already had if he were to display the great Roronoa's weapon publicly.

But the restaurant didn't need it, and Sanji felt possessive of the katana. Robin didn't say anything about it, although he saw her watching him through his open door one day, a thoughtful expression on her face. She had caught him staring at the sword with what he knew was stark longing. 

She didn't mention the incident afterwords, but the next day he found Zoro's wanted poster, framed and hanging underneath.

Sanji didn't say anything about it, but the next day he went into town and bought her the rarest book he could find.

*****

Months passed, and Robin fell into her place in the restaurant. She entertained customers with lore and stories, and performed "magic" with her devil's fruit powers. Soon Sanji's restaurant was more popular than it had been before, with tales of his new performer spreading down the Grand Line faster than a trail of fire.

Sanji, for his part, found it impossible to return to swooning foolishly over his nakama. Not like he had before. There was too much truth between them now, and what had been an act fell too flat without an audience. They talked rarely, but every night they would sit on the deck before returning to their separate rooms, Sanji sprawled against her legs, as Robin read from a particularly interesting and rare book she had discovered on the nearby island. With the amount of shipwrecks and pirates who lived in the town, the place was a literal treasure trove, and the archaeologist found more than enough to keep her occupied. 

They would sit like that, with Sanji listening raptly to Robin's soothing voice, until the sun set and the colors shrank from the horizon.

He had never understood Robin before, even when he was enraptured with her on the crew of the Going Merry.

But every so often, he caught a reflection of himself in her eyes. A reflection of the year that had passed in solitude, and sometimes a reflection of what had come before.

He had never understood Robin before, and now he almost wished he didn't.

*****


	14. Chapter 14

**New Life: Chapter 14**

******

"When I touched it, however, the book turned to dust." 

A collective sigh was heard around the room, from diners and waiters alike, as Robin finished her tale. Whispers and loud clapping broke out, punctuated by excited murmurs as the guests asked one another whether the archaeologist's fantastic tale could be true. 

Sanji grinned widely around his cigarette. He was leaning against the back wall of the restaurant, observing the diners and making sure his waiters kept out of trouble as he listened to Robin's performance. The raven-haired woman looked up and caught his eye, winking. An unseen hand behind his head managed to ruffle Sanji's hair affectionately, a gesture that could have been from an older sibling to a younger brother. 

He still couldn't believe the older woman was there. It had been two months since she had appeared unexpectedly in his room. 

She hadn't changed. At least, not aside from the slight glow of happiness Sanji could sometimes pick from her eyes, buried within the other, more familiar emotions like a jewel within sand.

Of all the nakama, Nico Robin was the only one Sanji had truly never thought he'd see again. She had simply disappeared one day, a note on her bed saying she had unfinished business to attend to. Luffy had refused to look for her, and that fact alone had led the rest of the crew to believe that Robin had discussed it with their captain before deserting them. Luffy refused to say anything about the matter, even after weeks of pressuring.

Robin was just as closed-mouthed about it now. When it came down to it, Sanji supposed he really didn't need to know. With Robin, he was most likely better off not knowing.

He was just happy to have her back.

She reminded him that his memories were real. Were more than just dreams.

Because she shared them.

*****

"Sanji," Robin asked him that night, stroking his hair absentmindedly as they lounged on the deck, "Do you ever think of the Going Merry? Or are you happy here, with your dream?"

She had put down her book. When Sanji looked up she had her sight trained on the horizon. Lightning from the constant storm and the magenta glow of sunset reflected in her eyes.

Sanji's breath caught in his throat. He took his cigarette and snuffed it out on the deck. He usually tried his hardest never to think on that, but the rare question from the woman demanded an answer as it hung expectantly in the air.

"This is why I joined Luffy," Sanji replied vaguely. He didn't want to doubt the choices he made. 

The choices others had given their lives for.

"I sometimes think," Robin said softly, "that if given the chance, I could quite happily live my life out with Luffy. Sailing to new places, always an adventure." She didn't look down, but a smile touched her lips, "With you. With the others."

It was the most Sanji had heard Robin speak about herself, her desires, since finding him. It forced the same honesty from his throat. 

"This is my dream," Sanji replied softly, staring out past the water at the storm, "I should be content here. I am, in a way - All Blue is everything I imagined it would be. It's paradise. Not just only for a chef.

"But...I can't help but think it feels empty sometimes, like I forgot to bring something with me here. Like I've misplaced a prized knife and can't remember where to look for it."

Sanji paused, and when Robin didn't say anything, he continued, "I'm living out my dream here. But I think I've already dreamt it." He gestured back towards the restaurant. "How much higher praise can I get here? I've already received a pardon from the World Government.

"But it's not about the fame. It's about my art. And there's more than enough variety here to keep me busy for the rest of my life so maybe," he took a deep breath, "I'd like to dream it again. Someday. Right now," he refused to acknowledge the watery prick in his eyes, "if given the chance -"

Sanji couldn't go on from there. His voice would crack.

There was silence, comfortable and poignant, before Robin spoke again. "We found our dreams too young, Sanji. All of us." She sighed. "I understand what you mean. I too would like to give them up, for a while, if only so that we can find them again when we're ready."

A cool gust of wind blew over them, stinging their eyes and giving Sanji an excuse for the dampness on his cheeks. It played with his hair before dancing away, making soft ripples through the water.

Robin picked her book back up. Her mellow voice started where it had left off, rolling soothingly over the gentle breeze. But all Sanji could hear was the crashing of distant waves.

Sanji lit another cigarette and stared blankly out at the storm. 

*****

It was dinnertime of the next day and Sanji was in his usual place against the back wall, watching contentedly as Robin entertained a group of children with her devil's fruit powers.

He was trying to listen to the conversation at a nearby table. He had been waiting on a particularly well-esteemed patron when a snippet of the idle chatter suddenly caught Sanji's ear. 

"...swordsman?" A deep man's voice rumbled.

"Yeah, heard 'e was caught. They sure kept quiet about it, eh? Had 'em there and no one heard nuthin' about it."

Sanji's head whipped around. Two men, large and burly outsiders, were dining with their dirty, booted feet on the table. A fact that would get them severly mangled and banned from the restaurant under normal circumstances. In this instance, however, Sanji wanted information. It wasn't often they got news from beyond the storm.

The hairier of the two answered, "Yeah. Surprised no one said nothin'. Must keep those marine boys under a stiff thumb, eh?"

"They keep 'em under something stiff, but I don't think it's 'er thumbs." His companion chortled. They both broke into guffaws.

Something in Sanji's chest had clenched at the word 'swordsman', a reflex left over from the past. It amazed him that he was still able to hope. 

It made him snort with self-derision as he snuffed it out.

Always a dreamer. As Zeff had said.

Nevertheless, the marines capturing a swordsman was interesting news. He hadn't known there were any swordsmen left worth their while.

Sanji pushed off from the wall, hands in his pockets. He strolled over to the table. "Excuse me," he said, "I overheard part of your conversation. Don't get much news from the outside here."

The laughter broke off as both men turned to him. They sized him up for a moment, then the first man grinned widely, showing off a gold tooth. "You own this joint, right?" 

Sanji winced. His restaurant was not a joint. It was the highest-class establishment in all the Grand Line. The best restaurant in the world. The pride of All Blue. 

However, he reminded himself firmly, suppressing an eye-twitch, he wanted information from the ill-dressed, badly-groomed oaf and his companion. Chanting this over inside his head, he somehow managed to refrain from kicking out the bastard's tooth. 

He nodded towards the man. "You say some swordsman was caught by the marines?"

"Not some swordsman!" The other man said, face appalled and almost comically wide-eyed. "The best in the world!"

Sanji frowned. Best in the - 

Ah.

Mihawk.

How in the depths of All Blue did Mihawk get himself caught by the marines? "Executed?"

The first man shook his head. "Not yet." His grin widened, obviously excited by the prospect. "But soon. Me and Davy are gonna try and make it to Herald's Port for the hangin'."

Sanji scowled. "When?"

"A week from now. I 'eard they have 'im tied up in the square on display. Not everyday they get a catch like that, I'd imagine."

Sanji chewed this over. Knowing what little he did of Mihawk, the man wasn't soon going to be rescued by anybody.

"How did they catch him? The terror of the Grand Line? He took down ships you know. Whole ships with one slice of his sword."

The men looked confused for a moment, but then shrugged to each other. "Hadn't heard that about 'im." The second man said.

"Rescued him from certain death, I heard." The first answered Sanji. 

"Guess there was no point to it, since they're just gonna kill 'im off anyway. But you know marines, they have to 'ave their fun. They're like kitties playin' with their meals, you know." The two friends broke into laughter.

Sanji chewed on his cigarette. This line of questioning, he recognized, was shaping up to be a Very Bad Idea. "How soon would you be leaving?"

The men looked at each other, then shrugged. "Sunrise tomorrow, guessing. The place is only about six days from here, but we don't wanna miss the show."

Sanji mulled this over. A day early. That might not be enough time, if Mihawk was well-guarded. He honestly didn't know what he was thinking, even considering abandoning his restaurant to save Zoro's only rival. However, he knew that no one else would save Mihawk, and somehow he felt like it was what the swordsman would do, if he were alive. 

Somehow, whether he liked it or not, Hawkeyes was connected to his lost nakama, and he owed it to Zoro to do what he could not.

And though he would never admit it, it would be nice to get away. Even if for a little while. To travel again through seaspray and wind.

Free. 

Sanji immediately smothered the thought. This was what he wanted, and he could never forget that.

Nevertheless, it would only be for long enough to rescue the swordsman. Then he'd return. 

"How big is your ship? Do you have room for a couple passengers?" 

The two men sized him up. "You lookin' for a ride, chef?"

Sanji had to literally grind his heels into the floor to keep himself from knocking them out. "Maybe."

The men exchanged looks, then shrugged easily. "Who's the other?" 

Sanji inclined his head towards Robin. The woman was surrounded by customers, and her happy laughter could be heard above their questions. "Maybe."

The two men put their heads together, then came up to look at him with a shrewder gleam in their eyes. "Can you pay?"

Sanji nodded. 

"We'll be at the dock an hour before sunrise." The gold-toothed man said. "If you want to come. But we can't give you a return trip. I don't wanna brave that storm after it starts up again."

"Fair enough," Sanji said. "Meal's on the house." He snapped at a waitor to bring the men more wine. Wine, Sanji thought with a grimace, whose finely chosen flavor and body were completely lost on the two sailors.

If he went, this would be the first Sanji had left All Blue since finding it. It would mean leaving the restaurant Zoro had given his life to build, with no assurance he'd return. It would mean taking on an entire barrack of well-trained marines by himself,unless Robin felt inclined to help, after having been out of practice for more than one and a half years.

It was definitely a bad idea.

But really, that had never stopped him before.

*****

Robin, a mysterious light sparkling in her eyes, agreed that it was what they should do. 

Sanji warned his staff of his departure, leaving a teary-eyed Yusef in charge. The boy reminded him of a more sentimental version of himself, and so he had no qualms about it. He was already almost as good a chef as Sanji. He would run the restaurant, and well, and Sanji knew the boy would willingly give it back to him when he returned. 

Sanji tried to pack lightly, but he felt the strong urge to take all of his original pots and pans and cookware with him. It wasn't much to pack, and over the years Sanji had learned to trust his instincts, so they went in among enough clothes for the journey and a few weeks more. 

It never hurt to be prepared. 

Zoro's sword Wadou went in his satchel as well. He just didn't feel right leaving it alone. He left Zoro's wanted poster hanging on the wall, and the five others stashed in his drawers. He did, however, pack all the money he had saved in with his clothes. That was just common sense when you lived with pirates, no matter how retired they were.

After stuffing Zeff's will in on top, Sanji sat with a thump on his bed, his decision finally catching up to him. He stared at the hundreds of plaques and awards covering his bedroom walls, fitting like puzzle pieces so that the only place they didn't cover was where Zoro's wanted poster still hung and the sword-sized space in the middle.

This had been his home for one year and seven months, plus a little more. 

That short amount of time had been enough for Sanji to find his dream, live it, build it -

and pass it on.

Sanji shook the thought off and lay down to get some rest. It was ridiculous to get sentimental, because he'd be back within two weeks. Back to keeping his staff in line and cooking for the royalty of the world.

Sanji dozed off to a sleep filled with bright sun and the tang of seasalt.

*****

The men, Davy and Don, were at the docks just before sunrise just as they said, along with a crew of about ten equally large and unkempt men. The price was hefty, about three times as many berries as the six-day trip was worth, but Sanji managed to wheedle them down with the promise of home-cooked meals. 

Robin stood by him silently, a small smile on her face, as the wind picked up and they pushed away from the dock.

Sanji couldn't suppress the flash of excitement he felt. To be on the water again, an adventure -

He grinned widely, unable to hide it. It hurt the corners of his mouth, and with a small shock he realized he hadn't smiled that way in a long while.

Robin chuckled lightly beside him, and raised her arms into the wind the fast little ship created as it cut through the water. 

He guessed she felt the same way.

Nevertheless, he couldn't ignore the feeling he had as he watched the Restaurant of Three Swords, his restaurant, fade from sight.

He felt just like he had the day he left the Baratie.

Like he wouldn't be seeing it again. 

Not for a long while.

*****


	15. Chapter 15

**New Life: Chapter 15**

*****

It took them three hours to reach the edge of All Blue, the usually turbulent water as calm and still as glass. Sanji nevertheless spent the duration of their trip across the storm's territory in the galley, at first attempting to cook their new shipmates dinner but soon giving it up in favor of cigarettes and a seat at the galley table. His hands were shaking too harshly to dice the meat. 

His moment of weakness went unobserved, Robin being on the deck with the rest of the crew, fascinated by the phenomenon of the weather. It was an hour before they cleared the area, but once past its treacherous waters the sails billowed out and the little ship started its journey properly. Sanji had a cigarette to calm his nerves, then pushed himself to his feet to resume his preparation of a meal that would, in all likelihood, only be truly appreciated by one person.

Sanji felt a slight twinge at leaving All Blue, but was surprised that that was all. He harbored no deep regret.

Leaving his life's goal should never have felt like relief. 

*****

The vessel was cramped and dank, but the remainder of the six days to Herald's Port passed without incident. The crew they sailed with turned out to be traders, which is what had brought the somewhat uncultured men to Sanji's restaurant. Entrepreneurs, they looked to open trade with Torakara Island and had been largely successful in their venture, the natives excited to open their doors once again to the rest of the Grand Line after a long isolation.

Robin spent the time trading stories with the sailors or reading on deck in a manner reminiscent of her time on the Going Merry. Sanji spent his time away from the crew, smoking on the upper deck or cooking meals for the men and Robin.

Even in a dirty kitchen and sleeping beside men who hadn't showered in months, Sanji couldn't help but admit to himself the freedom he felt as they traveled swiftly through the deep blue water. He could no longer deny the joy brought to him by the slapping of waves against the hull and the tang of sea wind against his face. 

Staying up long into the nights and watching the moonlit water trickle by, Sanji was finally forced to acknowledge how much he had missed this.

Maybe, came the traitorous thought, more than he would ever miss the calm waters of All Blue.

*****

They arrived in the harbor as dusk was settling in, the sky and water a matching rose-tinted grey. The port was busy despite the late hour, and they had to wait for a long while before they docked as other ships were herded into place. 

Herald's Port was a quaint, medium-sized seatown with cobblestone streets and uniform three-storied buildings made out of a yellowish stone. The high towers of a marine base could be seen on the other side of the city, by Sanji's reckoning about a brisk fifteen-minute walk from where they landed. 

Davy and Don agreed to lead them to the base, since that was where they were headed anyway. The narrow streets were crowded as they navigated its byways, small groups of people chatting around cookfires or dancing to poorly-played stringed instruments. The noise only got louder as they neared the base; it appeared that the people of Herald's Port had made a sort of festival out of the hanging. Tents and food stalls were set up in the main square, amid a mass of laughing and drunken people.

Sanji felt a bit overwhelmed amidst the noise. It had been a long while since he had seen anything other than the quiet life of Torakara Island or the steady routine of his restaurant, and even longer since he had been in a crowd of any sort. 

"I didn't think there would be so many people," he murmured to Robin.

She smiled at him, absorbing the commotion passively. "You forget how bored people are in the world," she said softly, "I imagine it's been a long time since these folk have seen any sort of excitement. A hanging of such a famous man would be a large event."

He nodded. If anything over the years, he had learned how bloodthirsty humans could be.

Suddenly, he was jostled as a woman in a brown cloak pushed past him, a small child in tow. She stumbled and he reached out to catch her arm, but she shook him off with a curt, "Watch it!" 

He didn't see her face, but for a moment he saw a swatch of red hair swing out from under her hood as she hastened away. He felt a sharp pang in his stomach. With her tone, he was sharply reminded of Nami.

A second later the woman was lost in the crowd. Sanji shook himself out of his reverie.

"This is where we leave ya, mateys." Davy said, breaking into Sanji's thoughts as they reached the middle of the square.

Sanji nodded at him. They had paid and their business was done as far as he was concerned.

Robin was more polite. "Thank you for your kindness," she said.

They waved it off with a leer, and promptly made a beeline for the nearest drink stall.

Sanji sighed. "Uncivilized sea scum." He muttered. He wasn't sorry to be rid of the pair, although they had turned out to be decent enough men.

Robin squeezed his arm. "Not everyone can be as well-mannered as our cook," she said with a smile. 

Our cook. Again, that unwanted, heavy wave of nostalgia. 

"It doesn't mean they should be complete pigs, at least not around a lady such as yourself," Sanji replied.

Robin just smiled at him. 

"Look," he said, stopping her as they reached the edge of the square, where the streets branched off towards the marine base. "One of us needs to secure us a ship, one that doesn't mind leaving in a hurry." He pressed his hefty pouch of money into her hands. "It shouldn't take this much, but -"

Robin took the berries and nodded at him. "I'll be glad to."

He nodded at her, and took off down the street without a backwards glance. He knew the woman could take care of herself.

The barracks were surrounded by a high stone wall, impenetrable save for a large, barred iron gate. It didn't appear to be heavily guarded, and Sanji could understand why. Anyone who tried scaling that wall couldn't possibly meet with much success.

However, Sanji thought with a twinge of pride, with Robin's help the task should be simple enough.

The wide open area in front of the base was empty, cobblestones stretching from the edge of town up to the massive grey wall. Sanji shoved his hands in his pockets and walked nonchalantly up to the guards, a cigarette between his lips. They eyed him incredulously, smirking.

"Oi," Sanji called casually. "Is it ok to see the prisoner?"

They gave each other a long look, then shrugged. "He'll be paraded through the town early enough tomorrow morning, you know." One said to him, pushing his standard white navy cap back to give him a once-over. "You might get a better look at the bastard then."

"Yeah," one of his companions muttered, "I almost think he kicked it already. Hasn't moved in a week, not since we tied him there."

"Hn," Sanji replied, noncomittedly. 

He peered into the dark of the courtyard. he could make out a dark shape, spread-eagled and slumped against a high pole. Ropes dangled from his limbs. He couldn't see much of the man, but he could tell from the hang of his clothes that he must be nearly emaciated, loose fabric blowing tattered in the light breeze.

Sanji frowned. 

His stomach dropped abruptly.

Starved or not, the man tied to that post was not Mihawk. Wrong build, wrong height. Wrong -

Sanji squinted into the darkness, gripping the cold bar of the gate with white knuckles. 

Wrong hat. 

Even in the darkness, he could make out red against straw. He would know the shape anywhere, having followed it almost blindly for so many years of his life. 

It was Luffy's hat.

Somehow, someone had found it in the waters of All Blue. And somehow it had survived unscathed from the storm.

Sanji's shoulders trembled. It was unfair. For this ridiculous, lucky symbol to have survived, and yet -

A cool rage blossomed in his chest. He had given up All Blue to save an impostor, a coward and a thief who thought it fine to wear his captain's hat, even on the way to his death. Like he deserved that honor.

The man's head was lowered, the hat's wide straw brim shadowing his features. Sanji jerked his chin at the condemned, not removing his eyes. "That's not Hawk-eyed Mihawk," he said softly to the guards. "I was told you'd caught the best swordsman in the Grand Line. What is this?"

The guards looked at him in surprise.

"Mihawk?" Their captain asked incredulously, "Why would we have Mihawk? He's been nothing for years. In truth, I thought he'd already died."

One of the others, wide-eyed, said, "This is the one who beat him, two or three years ago now, about."

Sanji's frown deepened. He had heard of no other champion, and it didn't sit well that Zoro had been so easily replaced.

"He's an impostor," he spat. 

"Here, now," one of the marines said, offended. "That's not true. We did a very thorough check when we pulled him in last year." He paused, puffing up his chest, "I was on the fleet that got him!"

Sanji glowered, but held his tongue. 

He had to find Robin. Even if he no longer felt any inclination to save whoever it was the Marine's managed to drag in, they needed to get Luffy's hat. Ideally, before it was sullied with blood. 

At least it wouldn't be a complete waste of a trip, Sanji consoled himself as he trotted back to town.

Luffy would be overjoyed.

If the brat ever made good on his promise to visit.

*****

It didn't take him long to find his nakama, one of her hands sprouting from his back to tug him gently into an alley before he reached the main square. She was leaning casually against the wall, waiting for him.

"I found a ship. They refused to take us to All Blue through the storm, but agreed to take us to one of the nearby islands with a good port. It should be easy enough to find passage from there." 

"Money?"

"It's cheap enough. I agreed to pay after we've reached our destination. They want us to come before daybreak. They've refused to wait past the sunrise."

Sanji frowned at her. "Fine. But Robin - it's not Mihawk."

The tall women raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Who, then?"

"I don't know. I couldn't see in the dark." Sanji grimaced. "There's more. Whoever it is is wearing Luffy's hat."

Robin's eyes widened. "I thought you said it was lost in the storm?"

Sanji nodded grimly. "It blew overboard at the same time we lost Zoro." Almost two years, and he still had to force himself to say the words. It was like drawing a katana up his throat.

Robin looked thoughtful. "We should get Luffy's hat for him. And see who could possibly fool the marines into thinking he's Hawk-eyed Mihawk's champion."

Sanji nodded again. "It's not well-guarded, but it has a solid wall. Do you think you can lift me over it?"

"And distract the guards." She affirmed. 

It would be simple enough. Taking Luffy's hat from the half-dead man in the dark compound should easily go unnoticed. 

Sanji supposed that finding Luffy's precious straw hat after so long was enough reason for them to have come, even if they were no longer saving Zoro's respected rival. Grief over Zoro's loss overshadowed all else while Luffy was still repairing his ship in All Blue, but Sanji knew it had to have hit him hard later. The hat had been an anchor for Luffy, through everything, and Sanji suspected having something to hold on to, even when all was thought to be lost, was part of what gave Luffy the strength to achieve his dream. 

And even without all that, Sanji knew it was important that Luffy be able to give it back to Shanks.

Robin slipped out of the alley, her gait slow and casual. Even without trying, the woman blended into the shadows, a wraith over the cobblestones. Sanji could see that her assassin's training would never be far from her.

Noise from the main square echoed between the buildings, straying voices and snatches of music haunting the deserted roads of this part of the city. The crowds had stayed away from the outpost. It seemed that though the citizens were more than willing to celebrate their captures and their hangings, the marines, and the recently reformed World Government, were still regarded with more than a touch of caution. 

They neared the base, and Sanji veered off on a side street that led to the left of the barracks. There were five guards standing watch, but they were telling jokes in a circle, relaxed and unaware. Sanji felt a touch of pride that they went down without a sound, felled before they had a chance to realize he was there. 

A row of hands sprouted like a ladder from the wall, the lowest shaping graceful fingers into a foothold. It was a struggle to remain stable, but he managed to scale the fortress without impaling himself on the top row of spikes and to drop to the dirt on the other side without injury.

The courtyard was empty, save for the slumped figure in the middle. Much like all of the marine bases he had seen - uniform, functional, boring. Sanji supposed the field must be used for training, when they weren't using it to starve their prisoners.

He could hear Robin's throaty voice chatting pleasantly with the guards behind him as he strolled across the dirt. He stopped in front of the prisoner and took a moment to examine him. He was dressed in a tattered grey uniform, stained with blood and other things Sanji didn't want to identify, the fraying at the edges suggesting he had worn the vile clothing for no small amount of time. Though the man was thin, starved, Sanji could see the remaining traces of a muscular build. He had been strong.

Sanji let out a small breath and reached forward, hoping whoever it was wasn't awake to make a fuss. Lifted the brim -

Sanji tore the hat away and stumbled backwards, unable to keep his wordless exclamation silent. 

Hallucinating.

A quick hand sprouting from his back rapped him sharply on the head in warning, pushing him forward. 

Dreaming.

"Hey now-" Sanji heard a marine shout loudly, "Who's in there?"

Sanji felt his body respond. His mind receded as instinct took over. No time to think. No time to process that the man wearing Luffy's hat to his death was one of the few who deserved to.

One who shouldn't be alive to die again.

Green hair -

Sanji fumbled with the ropes, his hands shaking too badly to be of use. He was ready to cry with frustration. Two pairs of hands sprouted from the metal bars, gently pushing his aside to work the knots. Behind him, he heard the enormous iron gate creak open, the startled cries of the marines yelling at him, the snick of their guns being cocked. 

Sanji knew they were too far away for him to kick or block, and knew that if he moved they would only hit the man behind him. 

Zoro.

Sanji didn't turn, but blocked as much of the other man's body as he could with his own, staring at the other's face, unblinking.

Zoro was alive.

Gunshots cracked out behind him. Still Sanji didn't close his eyes. Unable to speak, he willed the man to open his eyes, to acknowledge that he was here. To prove to Sanji that for one moment more, one moment he was willing to die for, they were both still alive.

Zoro had been alive, in captivity, held by marines, for more than a year.

Alive, 

The whole time, alive.

Impossibly, the shot never hit home. Instead, a ridiculous thwapping sound resonated around the base. Vaguely Sanji remembered someone yelling something. Something familiar.

"Gomu gomu no-"

He whirled around.

"Sanji!" 

Red shirt, black hair.

No hat.

"Sanji, you came!" Luffy shouted, puffing out his chest and sending bullets flying back towards their owners. "I wasn't sure you got my message in time."

Message?

"Luffy!" Sanji suddenly yelled, alarmed. The marines were sneaking up behind the boy, rifles cocked. 

"Ayah!"

They all fell down.

Impossibly, they all fell down. Luffy whipped his head back around, neck snapping. It wasn't Luffy or Robin who had felled them.

Sanji was tugged around by one of Robin's hands before he could see what had happened. Before he realized what he was doing Zoro's emaciated body fell into his arms. 

Sanji's heart broke. 

He didn't want to touch the man. He felt too frail in his arms, like the bones would snap. Nothing like Zoro was ever supposed to feel like. Sanji felt himself begin to tremble again as he lifted him gently, cradling him. Still not processing that this was real. 

Just another nightmare.

Was he dead?

No. 

The body was warm, the light rise and fall of his chest moving against Sanji's arms. 

"Sanji!" Luffy shrieked. "Let's go!"

Automatically, Sanji followed. 

Up ahead of them, Sanji could see four other shapes running. One was Robin. 

The other, strangely, was the woman Sanji had run into in the marketplace. There was no mistaking the red flash of hair, even in the dark of night, or the small child-sized figure that ran beside her. The fourth was cloaked, but was unmistakably leading their way.

Who?

There was no time to think about it, the sounds of the marines chasing them swallowed by the sudden noise of the crowd in the main square. For a brief moment, Sanji lost them, disoriented as he ran through the mass of people and tents, but then one of Robin's hands appeared, showing him the way.

The rest of the sprint was a blur to Sanji. He followed them onto a boat, only realizing once aboard that it was the Going Merry. Sanji was even more disoriented by the familiar decks than he was in the strange city.

This wasn't supposed to be here. He wasn't supposed to be here.

Zoro wasn't supposed to be alive.

Dreaming.

He had to be. 

He heard them raise the anchor, felt them push off, heard the sails drop, dimly felt someone lead him to the doctor's quarters when the attempt to remove Zoro from him failed. 

Finally, he got his bearings, setting the man down gently on the familiar sickbed. Stared at him, bewildered and stunned.

Ana was standing beside him, a hand on his arm. She smiled at him even as she started to look Zoro over. 

"I wasn't sure Luffy sent the message in time," she said, voice warm. "Welcome back, Sanji."

*****


	16. Chapter 16

**New Life: Chapter 16**

*****

"I wasn't sure Luffy sent the message in time," Ana said, voice warm. "Welcome back, Sanji."

He looked at her stupidly. A grin tugged at his mouth.

"Zoro's alive," he pointed out unnecessarily.

Ana smiled at him. "Yes, he is."

He looked back at the sleeping man. He looked like death, except for the steady rise and fall of his chest. There was crusted blood on his clothing and skin, his green hair was far longer than Sanji had ever seen it and his entire body was covered with a thick coat of grime. Not to mention the hollows of his cheeks, or the ribs Sanji saw denting his thin clothing. Ana was busy peeling back cloth from a more serious cut on his shoulder.

“The marines don’t normally treat their prisoners this way,” Sanji said.

Ana nodded. “I suspect he forced them to.”

If Zoro hadn’t gone willingly, the marines would have had to use force on him. Being Zoro, Sanji was sure that was what had happened. He felt a strange sense of pride that the man was still fighting, even after a year of rotting in a cell. He eyed Zoro’s prone form warily. One hand had fallen off the bed and it was dangling motionless, palm up. 

“He’s alive?” Sanji asked, suddenly less certain.

Ana smiled at him, looking deep into his eyes and fixing them there. “Yes.” She turned back to her patient.

The grin spread across his face, so big it hurt. He knew he had gone insane or, more probably, died, but he didn't care. 

“Maybe you should sit down,” the doctor suggested.

Yeah, maybe he should.

Suddenly, the door swung open. “Oi! Asshole, what are you doing? Where's Zoro? I'm a doctor! I can help him!"

A small cloaked form rushed into the room, nearly colliding with Sanji's legs. The child who was with the redhead.

Nami. Sanji suddenly realized. Nami was here, now, on the same ship with him. Then who -

Chopper.

The little reindeer threw off the cloak, hooves on hips. "I'm a doctor," he declared at Ana, glaring.

Ana just laughed benignly at him. "I know. You told me when we met."

Chopper opened his mouth, then caught sight of Sanji. 

"Sanji!" The reindeer's eyes were huge and glistening. 

Sanji's smile widened, if that were possible. "Chopper!" He bent over and yanked the deer-man into his arms, hugging him hard. He made a satisfying armful of warm fuzz. 

After a moment Chopper began to struggle impatiently. "Ok, ok." He was blushing through his fur. "You're going to crush it!"

For a second, Sanji was confused. Then he realized he still clutched Luffy's hat in his left hand, so hard the rim was bending. He loosened his fist sheepishly.

Sanji gave Chopper one last squeeze and set him down. Chopper grinned up at him. "It's good to see you again, Sanji," he said.

Sanji nodded. The deer hadn't changed a bit, silly hat and everything. He didn't even look any older, and briefly Sanji wondered if he ever would.

"Oh!" Chopper exclaimed, eyes widening as he stared past Sanji. "Zoro!" He hustled over to the side of the bed, glaring angrily at Luffy's doctor.

"It's ok, Chopper," Sanji said. "Ana saved my life, did you know that?"

He shook his head at him, eyes big. 

"She did." He affirmed. "Zoro is in good hands."

Ana gave him a smile of thanks.

"Well, ok, then," Chopper said, scuffling a hoof, "Can I help? He's still nakama. Right?"

"Yes." Sanji said. It came out a little stronger than he'd intended.

Ana smiled at the little deer. "You sure can."

"Sanji! Zoro! HAT!"

The door to the doctor's quarters swung open violently, creaked once on its hinges then gave up the fight, falling to the floor with a clatter. Luffy barreled into the room, followed by Nami and Usopp.

"Usopp?" Sanji asked incredulously. 

Everyone. Everyone was there.

He had to look like a complete fool. His lips felt like they were stretching to his ears. He shook himself out of it and planted the hat firmly on Luffy's black mop, feeling like a knight crowning a king. In a way he supposed he was.

Dreamer.

Luffy grinned hugely up at him. "You found my hat, Sanji."

Sanji shook his head at him. "Zoro had it."

Luffy's mouth formed an "o", looking at the sleeping man. "All this time, huh?" Suddenly his eyes looked far too old for his young face. Almost to himself, the captain murmured, "He's a good first mate."

Luffy had changed, Sanji mused. 

He supposed having your best friend die on you twice would do that. 

"How is he?" Nami actually looked worried for the green-haired man on the bed, which was a first if Sanji's memory still served him.

Now he knew he was dreaming.

"Fine, but all of you out." Ana snapped at them finally. She had obviously been biting her tongue up until this point, but her face was adopting a purplish tinge. "Except Chopper. He can help." She shooed them out the door.

Sanji lingered for a moment, his eyes on Zoro's slack face. He looked incredibly vulnerable lying there like that. Even after Mihawk, the swordsman had been able to rouse himself enough to fight. 

Sanji suddenly felt like throwing up.

"Out, Sanji." Ana said gently. "He's not going anywhere. He's just starved." She gestured to the door. "Your nakama are out there."

His nakama.

Sanji swallowed thickly. "Are- are you-"

"He won't die if you leave." She said. Her eyes softened for a moment. "Cook some soup for him, would you?"

Sanji felt like kicking himself. For the first time in his entire life, Sanji had forgotten his calling. "Yes!" he cried, and bolted from the room.

The crew followed Sanji into the kitchen, and although they were somewhat in his way he found he didn't care. Luffy could be stealing food - which, Sanji realized, chagrined, he was - or fighting with Usopp or anything at all and he wouldn't mind a bit. Robin and Nami were chatting happily with one another, but they kept getting interrupted by Luffy’s stretching arms as he rooted through the cupboards.

His kitchen. Exactly as it had always been. 

Home. The thought struck him suddenly, stayed with him, lodged an ache deep within his chest. He pulled out his kitchen utensils, rooted through the cupboards for ingredients, movements he could have done asleep. Everything was where it should be. 

Everyone... he corrected himself.

It was almost as if he had dozed off for a moment, all those years ago. 

The deck outside, however, was still empty. 

Sanji sighed, and suddenly the room behind him went quiet. Feeling eyes on his back, he set the soup to simmer and turned, leaning nonchalantly back on the counter as he lit a cigarette. He waved it at the room, not trusting himself to look at his former nakama straight on. 

It had been a long time. 

“So -” Sanji started.

“We were on our way to get you!” Luffy cut him off suddenly. Sanji’s head jerked up. The kid’s eyes were huge and earnest, as always. Sanji was surprised to find the others watching him carefully as well, an embarrassed heat spreading up his neck to his cheeks under the scrutiny. Luffy continued, “I figured Nami and Usopp and Chopper wanted to see your restaurant, like they promised before we split up.” The others nodded their agreement. “So I went and got them. But then Ace ran into us.” 

Sanji’s eyebrows raised. “Ace?”

Luffy nodded, then frowned, thinking. "About three weeks ago. Ace told us that the marines had Zoro." There was a pause as Luffy jammed his cheeks with fruit. "Anf mff marfs engg."

Sanji narrowed his eyes. "Chew, Luffy."

Luffy swallowed and grinned. "I said, I thought he was dead, so at first I thought Ace had been lied to. But Ace said his marine doesn't do that."

"How did Ace know about Zoro?" Sanji frowned, confused as Luffy’s words caught up with him, echoing, “’His marine?’”

Luffy shrugged. "Ace has a friend in the marines. At least that's what he told me."

The rest of the crew were sharing similar looks, but didn't comment. Sanji followed suit. He really didn’t want to know.

"So what's this about a message?"

"Oh!" Luffy exclaimed. "That's why you came, isn't it? As soon as we heard I sent a message so you could come and rescue him with us."

Sanji frowned. "How did you send it?"

"By bird." 

Sanji groaned inwardly. Poor bird. "No bird can make it through that storm, Luffy."

Luffy frowned, his face dropping. "Oh." 

"So why did you come, Sanji?" Usopp asked.

Sanji swallowed, embarrassed, stirring the broth in front of him. "Customers in the restaurant said they'd heard the 'greatest swordsman in the world' had been captured by the marines. I thought they meant Mihawk."

"Mihawk?" Usopp exclaimed. "Why would you rescue him?"

But Nami and Luffy were nodding. 

"That makes sense. I would have done that too." Luffy said. 

"Makes sense?" Usopp squeaked. "That man almost killed Zoro. Several times."

"He was important to him," Sanji said softly, not sure if the others heard him or not.

Nami and Usopp looked confused. Robin kept her small, knowing smile in place. Luffy just regarded him with understanding. 

“You really thought he was dead all that time?” Nami asked.

For the first time in his memory, Sanji had forgotten about the redhead’s presence. Appalled, he turned a full-watt smile on her. He couldn’t help himself. Even if he didn’t much feel like smiling, there was something about the woman. “One year, ten months, eight days.” Three hours. But Sanji didn’t want to freak them out.

Too late. Nami’s pretty face was stuck between incredulous and bewildered. Usopp just looked blank. 

“Three hours,” Luffy added softly. 

Nami recovered quicker than Usopp. “You kept count?” Luffy opened his mouth in defense, but she waved him off. “No no, not you Luffy. But Sanji?” Her face was perplexed. 

“Yeah, Sanji,” Usopp interjected. “Since when do you care? I mean, I know he’s nakama, but you guys fought all the time, and now you know down to the day? Right off the top your head? I never -”

Sanji turned his back on them abruptly, stubbing out his cigarette with shaking fingers. 

His soup was done.

“Usopp -” Robin started, her voice quiet.

“Well really!” Usopp continued, oblivious. “I didn’t think you’d care that much, honestly, Sanji!”

Suddenly, Sanji felt the time that had passed between them. How long had it been? Four years? Five? 

They didn’t know. 

A wave of longing hit him, strangely, for Luffy’s second crew. Accepting and fresh, no notions of the relationship Zoro and Sanji had had prior to their first reunion. No expectations. He wasn’t sure how his old nakama would take the change. 

He grabbed a bowl from the cupboard, feeling suddenly awkward and out of place. Without turning, he said, “Luffy, what happened to the others?”

“They’re still here, Sanji.” By his tone, Luffy understood. “I think they’re out back. They wanted to give us time to catch up.”

Sanji nodded without turning, and practically fled the galley. As he closed the door, he heard Nami ask, “What was that about?”

After a moment he heard Luffy reply, “He’ll have to tell you, Nami. A lot’s happened since you guys left.”

Sanji let out a breath and went to give Zoro his soup.

*****

Zoro was awake. 

Sanji hovered in the doorway, Ana’s and Chopper’s backs to him, and watched the swordsman as he frowned in characteristic irritation. He hadn’t yet caught sight of the cook, all his attention focused on the little reindeer as he bandaged his scraped-up wrists. 

One year, ten months, eight days. Three hours.

A sudden wave of trepidation washed over him. It had been a long time. More than enough time for Zoro to get over him. For their relationship to change. For Zoro to hate Sanji, because he left him there, abandoned him to the marines while he maintained his pointless dream in All Blue. 

In his mind, their reunion had always been filled with kisses and hugs and less innocent activities, with words Zoro spoke once and Sanji had never been able to say aloud. But watching Zoro, thin as he was, changed as he was -

“Sanji?” Zoro asked softly. Sanji started badly, almost dropping the soup. His voice was rough and dry, but still Zoro’s. Exactly as he remembered. He focused and found Zoro’s dark eyes trained on Sanji’s own, full of questions and disbelief, underneath the dull layer of weariness. Sanji prevented himself from looking past those few superficial layers, deathly afraid of what he’d find.

“Oh, good,” Ana said, turning. “The soup’s done.” She smiled widely at Sanji. “See? He’s doing just fine.”

“I -” Sanji started, not taking his eyes off of Zoro. The swordsman was staring intently at him, his eyes hooded.

Panicked welled up, overwhelmed him. He thrust the soup into Ana's hands.

Sanji turned and fled. 

*****


	17. Chapter 17

**New Life: Chapter 17**

*****

Sanji fled. He didn't stop even when he heard a familiar "Kuso cook!" shouted angrily after him, or at Ana's exclamation of surprise. 

He took refuge against the wall of the galley, forcing himself to calm his breathing as he hid beneath the awning. The deep blue waters of the ocean winked white light at him, sparkling sunlight making a night sky filled with stars out of the ocean's depths. 

He was awake. Zoro was going to be ok. 

Sanji acknowledged he was having a hard time processing it. He had worked hard to come to terms with Zoro's death, and suddenly knowing that he should have looked for him, instead of just assuming...

He had been there for more than a year, while Sanji cooked and tried to forget.

Sanji scrunched his eyes shut, guilt rendering him immobile.

The whole time, and Zoro was alive, being starved and who-knew-what-else in a dirty marine camp. He had seen the angry red marks on his wrists from where he had been restrained. The other marks on his body from where his tattered clothing failed to cover the skin. 

It took Sanji a minute to realize he was hyperventilating. Slowly he unclenched his fists and forced himself to push off of the wall.

"Oi, Sanji, whatcha doin' down there?"

Sanji whirled and finally looked up. Toban the navigator, one of Luffy's current crew, was peering over the railing of the top deck. 

Toban grinned winningly at him. "Geez, we don't see ya for more 'n a year, and ya don't even wanna hang wit' us. Iffa didn't know better, I'da thought you were hidin'."

Sanji grinned at him. "Toban!" He was truly glad to see the navigator again. "I'll come up," he said.

All of Luffy's crew were on the deck above the galley, drinking and playing cards. They turned shocked faces to him when he finally cleared the ladder, stark, surprised expressions that quickly turned to happy grins. 

"Lookit what the sea tossed up," Toban drawled with a wink.

"Sanji!" Guri the shipbuilder shrieked. The boy pushed himself to his feet and grabbed Sanji in a bone-crushing hug. 

The movement almost toppled them both back down the ladder. Sanji laughed and tousled his hair, then greeted the rest of his crew. 

"How've you been, Sanji?" Risa, Luffy's sharpshooter, finally asked. 

"I've had my restaurant," Sanji replied, not really answering the question. 

"You see Zoro yet?" Guri asked, eyes mischievous.

"He's awake," Sanji said.

The whole crew opened their mouths at once, and Sanji cringed at their shocked expressions. He quickly waved his hands. "He's too tired to talk to anyone! Ana and Chopper have him."

"But Sanji! He'll want to see you! I mean, you guys were -" Guri was silenced by a sharp jab in the ribs, compliments of Toban.

"No, no. He needs his rest." Sanji mumbled, unable to look at them.

Not a one of them bought it, judging from their faces.

Sanji quickly shifted the topic, angling it back to the crew. Apparently, they had only been sailing a couple months when they got hold of a large treasure map. They'd been busy tracking down that pipe dream right up until Ace showed up with news of Zoro. 

"So I guess that's where you're headed after this, huh?" Sanji asked. 

Risa smiled. "After we see your restaurant, of course."

Sanji broke out into a large grin.

"You're in for cards, right, Sanji?" Guri asked. 

Sanji nodded.

He couldn't explain it, but even though he knew that his former crew, his true nakama, were all down in the galley waiting for him, he almost dreaded returning to them. They had too many questions for him. They didn't know what had happened after each of them had left. They only knew the Sanji who bickered and picked fights with the swordsman, not the Sanji who had wept for his lover's death and hung Wadou above his bed like a shrine. 

Up here, laughing like no time at all had passed, Sanji was comforted. These people who had witnessed Zoro's first return, who had seen their relationship evolve and had accepted it, supported it, with the love and warmth of friends.

But he still felt like he didn't belong. Still just looking in, like he always had, even on the Baratie. 

After their fourth game, Sanji stood, waving down their laughing protests. "I need to let Luffy know Zoro's awake," he explained. He should have immediately, he supposed, but he honestly couldn't have forced himself to see his old nakama right then.

Risa looked surprised. "You haven't yet? Good gracious, go!"

"All of you should come down for supper. It will be ready in about an hour," Sanji said, descending the ladder.

"We don't wanna intrude -" Toban started.

"You're nakama. We're all eating together." Sanji's tone broke no argument. He hopped to the deck.

Luffy and crew were still seated at the galley table when he pushed open the door. Usopp, from the sound of it, was in the middle of a particularly elaborate tale. He broke off when he saw Sanji.

"How is he, Sanji?" Nami asked.

Sanji smiled at her. "Awake."

"Awake?!" Luffy shrieked, jumping to his feet. "Why aren't you with him, Sanji?" 

The others had all leapt up at his news, too, with the exception of Robin. She was still seated calmly, watching Sanji's face with a regard Sanji had come to respect. 

"Well, come on!" Luffy cried. "I want to see how he's doing!" Luffy and Usopp both ran towards the door, peeling towards the galley. Nami followed at a more dignified pace, pausing to glance back at Sanji.

"Aren't you coming? I mean, I know you two weren't the best of friends, but -"

Her words fell heavily on Sanji's shoulders. He swallowed thickly. "You go ahead," he said. "I'll go to see him later. It's almost time for supper, and I need to get started."

"Luffy has a cook, you know," Nami said, frowning.

"Ah, Nami-san, I think he wouldn't mind if I cooked tonight, do you?"

She frowned at him for a second more, obviously unused to a Sanji that didn't do everything she suggested. Sanji himself wasn't quite used to it. Finally, Nami shrugged. "Whatever." She left.

"Zoro wants to see you," Robin said softly, still seated.

Sanji started. He'd forgotten she was there. "You, too." He said.

She shook her head and smiled. "I'll go when there aren't so many people. I'm sure it's overwhelming for him, having all of us back." She widened her smile marginally. "As I'm sure it is for you."

Sanji froze midstep, on his way to the stove, then gave a low laugh. "I'm glad you came back, Robin." He said, pulling out his pans. "Would you like me to make you some coffee?"

"Thank you, Sanji," Robin said.

The galley was bathed in a comfortable silence as Sanji cooked and served Robin her coffee. Finally, when everything was set to simmer and all the dishes needed was watching and a final garnish, Robin said softly, "You shouldn't be afraid of him."

Sanji almost dropped the pan he was holding. He set it down gently on the burner and pulled a cigarette from his pocket. Slowly he lit it. Outside, the deck was still empty.

"I had as much chance to look for him as you. So did Luffy. You can't take the blame on yourself for not rescuing Zoro."

"I should have looked." Sanji said, hunched over the counter.

"He doesn't blame you." Robin responded.

Sanji slammed a hand down on the counter and spun. "It was my duty, Robin! I owed him that much! It doesn't matter that I thought he was dead. It doesn't matter that Luffy and his crew could have looked as well. They didn't lo-" Abruptly Sanji broke off, mortified at what he had almost said. He had suspected Robin knew, but he had never told her.

For once, Robin's usually passive expression broke, looking sad and surprised at his outburst.

"Does he know?" She asked quietly, finally, as Sanji leaned back, shaking. "Did you ever-"

Sanji just shook his head mutely. 

"But Robin," he said softly, "after Zoro came back, we -"

Suddenly, the door to the galley burst open. Luffy and the others came pouring in, laughing.

"He looks great, Sanji! Your soup really did the trick! Ana and Chopper have him all bandaged up - turns out he looked a lot worse than he is! Said he was only out there for a week!" Luffy laughed loudly at this. "When I found him, he had been chained up for three! This was nothing!"

"But he was so thin," Robin said.

"Yeah, he needs food," Luffy agreed. "But that's it! He looked like he was dying!"

Sanji realized he was gripping a metal spoon hard enough to draw blood. Slowly he loosened his fist and stirred his rice.

"Sanji, you need to go see him. He kept asking about you." Luffy said.

"Yeah, it was weird," Usopp agreed. "Guess he really misses kicking your ass. You were just in there to see him with the soup, after all!"

"Oh!" Luffy exclaimed, his eyes going wide. "They still don't know! Sanji, when're you gonna -"

Sanji took a spoonful of meat and shoved it in his captain's mouth. Luffy chewed and swallowed. 

"Wow, Sanji!" His voice was awed. "You got better."

Sanji grinned at him, unable to stop the swell of pride.

All those awards, and this was the praise that mattered.

Luffy reached toward the stove, his earlier train of thought completely abandoned. Sanji smacked his hands.

Nami, unfortunately, wasn't so easily distracted. "Told us what? Sanji, why do I get the feeling something -"

Sanji gritted his teeth. He couldn't bring himself to tell them. Not when Zoro most likely wanted nothing to do with him, not when he had almost died, again, and it was Sanji's fault. Not when he knew he would be met with ridicule, Nami's disbelief and Usopp's laughter. 

Sanji lowered the heat on the stoves. "I'm going to tell the others dinner is almost ready. Usopp, Robin, make sure Luffy lets the food stay put."

Without waiting for a response, Sanji escaped to the warm air of the deck, the late afternoon sun casting tall shadows across the boards. He walked to the railing, taking a deep breath of clean air followed by a deep pull on his cigarette.

"Sanji."

Sanji whipped around, nearly falling overboard in his haste, hands gripping the railing hard as he leaned backwards, trying futilely to escape.

"I was wondering where you went to. Baka." Zoro was standing in front of him, looking, just as Luffy had said, better. Still gaunt as hell though. Sanji automatically went through several hundred recipes in his mind that he could cook, all designed to promote fast -

Zoro.

The man looked steady on his feet, despite his thinness and the sorry condition of his clothes. He wasn't wearing his haramaki, and Sanji had the fleeting thought that he would need to buy him a new one, once they got home. The black bandana was tied securely around his arm. 

Sanji's thoughts finally caught up to him, and he snorted derisively at himself. Once they got home.

Baka. Zoro wouldn't be going anywhere with him. 

Zoro's eyebrows were drawn together, his lips pressed in a thin line. His hands were flexing by his side.

He looked ready to kill Sanji, and honestly, he couldn't blame him.

Sanji waved a cigarette at the swordsman, knowing he looked every bit as terrified as he felt. "You shouldn't be up. You need to rest."

Suddenly, the expression fell away, leaving his features blank. Zoro took a step forward. Sanji had no where to go.

The door to the galley swung open. "Ho, Sanji!" Usopp's voice rang out. "A swarm of flying rat-fish came and -"

"Oh, for goodness sake," Nami's voice rang out. "Luffy's eating your -"

"Mmf, am noft -"

Zoro took a quick step forward and swiftly grabbed the cook bodily, crushing him to his chest. Taken by surprise, Sanji gasped as he was swung back from the railing, flailing his arms before gripping the swordsman desperately, fingers clutching at the loose fabric of his shirt. Zoro held him until he stopped struggling, whispering words into his ear that he couldn't quite make out.

Sanji went limp, clutching at the other man. Zoro, hands everywhere, kissed him soundly on the mouth.

Automatically, Sanji's lips parted as he gasped. Zoro ran his tongue frantically over them before pushing deeper. Running their tongues together, Zoro was mouthing something to him, but his words were swallowed in Sanji's mouth.

Zoro was shaking, and after a moment Sanji realized they were both sobbing uncontrollably into each other.

"I thought you were dead, I would have come, but I thought -" Sanji muttered, unable to stop himself. Panicked, he cried, "I'm sorry if -" He broke off, tried again. "I'll understand if -" He took a deep breath, the words he was never able to say before falling off his tongue in a rush, "I love you. Zoro, I -"

"Shitty love-cook." Zoro's voice was low. "It took you long enough."

Sanji gripped his head and pressed their mouths together, lips wet with salty moisture.

Finally, Zoro tilted his head back, just a little bit. He was smiling at Sanji, eyes alive with something Sanji had thought he'd lost. Zoro ran his hands through Sanji's blond hair, brushing it back from his left eye. Sanji leaned into his palm, watching as Zoro ran his eyes critically over Sanji's face, looking for changes or maybe just taking him in.

Sanji unclenched his hands shakily, finally getting a hold on himself. "Baka marimo. You shouldn't even be up. I don't know what they did to your brain in there, but-"

"WHAT THE -" Usopp shrieked. Sanji nearly fell over with surprise. Zoro jumped, but kept his hand in the small of Sanji's back, steadying him.

"Oh. My. God." Nami's hushed voice cut through the air.

"Oi, finally!" Toban called from the top of the deck. 

Sanji and Zoro looked up. The whole crew was there, old and new.

Staring at them.

Only half were grinning.

Robin finally appeared in the doorway. "Ah," she said. "So you did tell him, Sanji-kun."

Nami's face had relaxed, although Usopp was still looking slightly apoplectic.

"Sanji, Zoro," Nami's voice was sugary-sweet. "Well. I guess that explains why you two couldn't keep your hands off of one another."

Zoro had begun to splutter beside him. Sanji glanced over. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the swordsman turning several vivid shades of red. 

Not that he should talk. He felt like he had sunburn.

"Well!" Nami said. "I guess I should feel better about you not fawning over me anymore, eh, Sanji? I thought I was just getting old."

Sanji opened and closed his mouth, fighting for words, when Nami suddenly grinned at him and winked, letting him know she was kidding.

Usopp, in the meantime, had calmed down enough to talk. "Well!" He said. He drew himself up. "When will we start seeing little cooks with green hair, huh?"

"It doesn't work like that, liar!" Zoro growled, a vein in his head throbbing.

But Usopp laughed at him. 

It was contagious. After a moment, even Sanji was smiling. Zoro, for his part, at least looked less likely to murder the sharpshooter.

“Ah!” Sanji exclaimed, smacking his head. “Dinner. Everything should be ready right about now. Give me a moment to prepare, and we can all eat.” He felt everyone staring at him, and he shifted uncomfortably before deciding they didn’t matter. He turned to Zoro. “You need to get back to bed,” he said. His shoulder was under Zoro’s arm, and he could feel himself increasingly holding up the swordsman’s weight. 

Zoro nodded at him.

“Zoro!” Ana came running, Chopper at her heels. They had missed all of the excitement, apparently. “I leave you for a second, and you get out of bed! You’re an idiot! Both of you!”

“Oi!” Sanji protested. “What did -”

“You let him!” Ana snapped, easily transferring Zoro to herself. Zoro, for his part, let her.

Sanji sighed, then shrugged. “Oi,” he called softly. “I’ll bring you dinner, ok, marimo?”

He was rewarded with a tired smile.

But it was genuine.

Zoro was alive, and still wanted him.

Sanji grinned back and ducked into the galley.

*****


	18. Chapter 18

**New Life: Chapter 18**

*****

Ana's quarters were quiet when Sanji entered, the doctor and Chopper both in the galley eating with the rest of the crew. Zoro appeared to be sleeping when Sanji cracked the door open quietly, but he opened one eye when Sanji sat by the bed, his tray of food balanced on one knee, the other object he held propped by his side.

Zoro smiled, small but unmistakable. He pushed himself into a sitting position.

"I've missed your food," he said quietly.

That was like a knife in the gut. The euphoria from earlier had long since worn off, leaving Sanji once again with his guilt. He stood up and placed the tray carefully on the swordsman's knees before sitting back down again. 

He gestured to the mug of tea. "I would have brought you something stronger, but Ana was firm on the matter."

Zoro's lips quirked. "No arguing with that woman, is there." He sipped on the bowl of soup. "Ah." He looked surprised. "Maybe I'm just half-starved, but you got better. Didn't think that was possible, cook."

Sanji couldn't help himself from glowing. "Those marines must have beaten your sense out of you," he drawled, "or did I just hear you give me two complements, marimo?"

A shadow fell over Zoro's face. He looked straight into Sanji's eyes. "I should have done more of that," he said.

Sanji winced. 

Zoro had changed. 

It wasn't that he wouldn't have welcomed complements from the swordsman before, or that he didn't appreciate how obviously happy Zoro was to see him - in many ways, it was his dreams come true. 

It was just that he didn't deserve it.

And the swordsman was making it impossible for Sanji to keep this reunion lighthearted. 

Sanji cleared his throat. In a low voice, he said, "Zoro, I'm sorry." 

The swordsman looked up from his meal, taken completely off-guard. "For what?"

Sanji forced himself to meet Zoro's gaze. "How long did they have you? What happened after you went over?"

Zoro put down his spoon. "The marines sent a fleet after us, after we took out that one ship." A grimace passed quickly across his face, "After you were injured."

"They'd been following us."

Zoro nodded. "They pulled me up. I don't remember it, but one of the marines told me I was half-dead, caught on some driftwood. Lucky. I woke up in their brig. The storm threw them back and they didn't try to follow the Merry." He snorted. "Cowards."

Sanji could feel his fingernails digging into his palm. "They had you for that whole time."

Zoro's lips thinned. "It wasn't so bad, Sanji."

"You're starved. You have cuts all over your body. Your clothes were filthy. They tied you to a -"

"Recently." Zoro's voice was firm.

God damn it. Sanji's eyes were starting to sting. "I didn't even think to look for you. I just left you to rot for more than a year in that -"

"We played cards. My cell was all right. I made a couple friends with the marine bastards while I was -"

"I was cooking while you starved!" Sanji spat. God damn it! Why wouldn't Zoro just admit it and hate him?

"Sanji -"

"I was lounging in All Blue while -"

"Sanji!" Zoro exploded. "You stupid cook! Shut up! Don't blame yourself for something you didn't know about!"

"I blame you!" Sanji finally shouted back, then looked away, quickly, hands still fisted at his sides.

He realized it was true. If that fucking swordsman had just had any sense, if he'd had any respect for his life -

Sanji closed his eyes, briefly, then with a shaking hand drew a cigarette from his pocket. He looked up at Zoro as he lit it. Zoro just sat there, regarding the cook with a strange look that was stuck somewhere between sympathy and animosity.

Sanji took a deep drag, then sighed, shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry," he said softly, then drew the other item he had brought with him up into his lap.

Zoro's eyes widened. "Wadou," he breathed. He automatically reached for his sword.

Sanji scooted backwards, earning him a confused but vicious look from Zoro. "You almost died because of this," he said, conversationally.

"Where did you find it?" Zoro said, his voice laden with tension. He knew who held the cards, all right.

"Robin." Sanji said. He blew out a lethargic stream of smoke, then rested hand and cigarette on his knee as he leaned forward. "She said the storm gave it to her. I don't know how much the others told you, but she found me in All Blue."

Zoro shook his head slightly. He hadn't known.

"She gave it to me," Sanji continued. He held Zoro's gaze, which was now wary. "I hung it above my bed for nearly two years." He laughed.

A strange expression crossed Zoro's face. "Sanji -" he started.

Sanji interrupted him. "If I give this back to you," he said, "you have to give me a promise."

Zoro swallowed. The dinner Sanji had cooked for him was cooling, forgotten on his lap. "What."

Sanji put a hand around the slender white sheath. "This will never be placed before your life again. Or I throw it overboard right now."

Zoro's hands were fisted on his sheets, knuckles white. 

But there was no hesitation, no doubt in his face as he nodded at the cook. "Or yours," he said softly. 

"What?" Sanji said. He hadn't expected that.

Zoro let out a breath. "I'm sorry, Sanji. Yes."

Sanji felt the tension leave his shoulders. His hands lingered on the sword a moment longer, then passed it to Zoro.

The swordsman caressed it like a lost love, then, to Sanji's surprise, put it aside and began to eat.

Sanji stayed frozen for a moment, then settled back in the chair, content.

*****

The crew, with the exception of Luffy, were done eating when Sanji returned with Zoro's tray. Guri and Toban both slammed their feet down to the floor upon the cook's entrance, guilty expressions on their faces. Sanji chose to let it go.

The two crews, old and new, had segregated themselves. Half on one side of the table, half on the other. Both were looking slightly uncomfortable with the whole situation, again with the exception of Luffy, who was doing his best to be oblivious as he stuffed his cheeks with rolls. 

Sanji knew better. The Pirate King just didn't want to deal with the situation.

Sanji dropped his load into the sink and turned, leaning against the counter. 

Nami.

Robin. 

Luffy.

Usopp. 

Chopper.

They had all come back.

Seeing his old nakama, seated by Luffy's new crew, who had since grown to become Sanji's friends, suddenly made the last few years of Sanji's life seem real to him. It hadn't all been a dream. This, more than any of the other situations Sanji had found himself in since they had gone their separate ways, made Sanji feel awake.

Alive.

It was a weird feeling, like the moment just after you come out of sleep, when everything just comes crashing down on you and you actually feel your life.

Sanji took a deep drag, then stubbed his cigarette out in the sink. He realized everyone's eyes were on him, even Luffy's.

Sanji coughed. "It was all right?" Sanji muttered finally, gesturing at the table.

An enthusiastic chorus of agreement came from both crews. It lasted too long, and Sanji had to wave them down. "Oi," he said finally, then sighed. 

It figured they would look to him. Luffy was avoiding the problem of having two crews nicely, and Sanji was the only other thing they had in common. "So Luffy," he finally said, because, dammit, he was the captain, "What do we do now?"

Luffy blinked at him. "We go to your restaurant, of course."

Sanji blinked back. "What?"

"Well," Luffy said, "that's where we were going, before that thing with Zoro. And I still want to see what you did with the place. And -" his captain grinned, "I want to see my home."

His home.

Sanji felt himself break out into a surprised grin. "You remembered!" He frowned suddenly. "But Luffy, the storm. We're cutting it close -"

Luffy shook his head. "I've been counting. We've made good time, we should have a few days left before it starts up again."

"Still -" Sanji started, anxious.

"You? Count?" Guri broke in, a mischievous smile on his face.

Nami looked at him, obviously surprised, then relaxed into a smile of her own. "Yeah, Luffy, since when?"

Luffy put on a pout. "Hey," he whined.

Relieved laughter, from both sides.

Yes, they were both Luffy's crew. 

Sanji frowned, still concerned about the storm. Finally he pushed aside his worries. It didn't matter anyway, once Luffy had made up his mind.

But if the storm was there...

The thought made him feel sick to his stomach. He wasn't sure he could go through it again, not now, not with everyone here.

Sanji shook his head, shoving away his thoughts. "That goes for all of you."

"What, Sanji?" Ana asked.

Sanji smiled. "What Luffy said about the restaurant. About it being home. That-" Sanji cleared his throat, "That goes for all of you. We're all nakama, now, so -"

Was he overstepping his bounds? The crew was silent, but no, Luffy was grinning, and -

"Yes," Robin's quiet voice finally broke the silence, "I think we are."

Luffy threw his hand into the middle of the table with a giant whoop. "Nakama!" He cried.

Without hesitation, twelve hands joined his. 

"Nakama!"

Sanji grinned and broke away first, twirling over to the stove to pull from the oven the biggest, most elaborate cake he had possibly ever made. He had been saving it as a surprise. Now, it seemed just fitting to celebrate.

"Dessert!" He cried.

"Ahh! DESSERT!" Luffy shouted, and made a dive for it.

Robin's hands sprouted just in time, holding Luffy down. The seven crewmembers unfamiliar with Robin let out surprised yelps.

Then Guri cried, "Whoa! That is the coolest -"

"Yeah!" Toban shouted. "I didn't know you ate a Devil's Fruit, too!"

"Didn't you know?" Usopp interjected. "We all did. Mine was of course the coolest-"

"Really?" Chopper squealed, eyes wide. "I didn't know you ate a Devil's Fruit, Usopp!"

Sanji carefully set the cake down in the middle of the table. Mindful of Luffy, he began to cut large slices for each of his nakama. They had broken out into excited, comfortable chatter.

His nakama.

His family.

Sanji grinned.

*****


	19. Chapter 19

**New Life: Chapter 19**

*****

"If you want to come over here, you should come over here, cook."

The words were said quietly, but it was more than enough to make Sanji almost fall off the chair.

He had come back to the doctor's quarters almost immediately after the cake was gone, one large piece saved out for the swordsman. The man was asleep when Sanji returned, and so he'd set it aside to sit in the wooden chair by the bed. He'd been observing the gentle rise and fall of the man's still-well-muscled chest ever since. It was already nearing midnight, the moonlight focused into a narrow point by Sanji's feet, filtered through a small hole in the ceiling.

Sanji swallowed, his throat dry. Did the swordsman know what he was asking? Or was he half-asleep?

Despite their little chat, despite Zoro practically having him in front of the entire crew earlier that day, Sanji still had his doubts. He knew it might be stupid of him, but no one spent a year and a half in a marine jail without changing at least a little. And even if the man did still want him - who was Sanji to say that he deserved him? 

"You're making me...uncomfortable...staring at me like that." The smile in Zoro's voice, mixed in with other things, stated plainly to Sanji that he knew exactly what it was implying.

"You're recovering," Sanji said half-heartedly. When the hell did he get all this self-control? It had been too long. He was almost weak with the wanting of it, the confirmation that once and for all that he had Zoro back. He swallowed again, eyes never leaving the swordsman's face. The man still had his eyes closed.

One lid cracked, a gleam in the darkness. "Hm." 

Suddenly, an arm shot out, grabbing Sanji by his pantleg. He went down with a startled "oof!", his head protected from hitting the floor too hard by Zoro's hand. 

"You fucker!" He hissed, scrambling to get up.

But Zoro was on him, straddling his squirming legs. 

God damn it. 

Even starved, the swordsman was too strong for Sanji to throw off. Trapped against him like this, Sanji realized he wasn't as emaciated as he thought. He felt strong muscle slide under the other man's skin, as well as the telling hardness that grew to press against his own.

"Don't tell me you don't want this anymore." Zoro was staring at his face, a grim, feral smile stretching his lips, but Sanji could hear the question in the seemingly absolute statement. Could see the uncertain sheen in his eyes, underneath the layers of want and smug confidence.

Zoro was as unsure as he was.

"Yes, I still want you," Sanji hissed. "Baka." He lurched up and claimed Zoro's lips, harshly pressing them together. To hell with this. Finally he found a good hold on the swordsman, and with one smooth push of his feet flung the other man backwards onto the bed. Before he could recover, Sanji was on him, kissing the slightly stubbled skin beneath his ear down to the smooth stretch of his collarbone. He dragged his tongue across his throat and was rewarded with a groan and a subtle shudder. 

"You have no idea how I want you, you idiot marimo." Sanji bit out, nipping lightly, possessively, even as he edged the swordsman's shirt above his head. 

Was Zoro trembling?

Must be his imagination.

"It was hell." Sanji spat. "Because of that damned hunk of metal, and your complete lack of common sense."

Zoro had tensed at the insult to his precious sword. Sanji didn't care. He silenced whatever comeback was on the swordsman's tongue with a fierce kiss, forcing the man's hands above his head when he struggled a little. Sanji knew Zoro could easily throw him off - it was a tribute to his survival instinct that he didn't. 

He had been a complete wreck when Robin found him, a short number of months ago. He realized that now. He didn't know what would have happened if she hadn't, but he knew that at the time he had been lost. There hadn't been anything left. Even his dreams, All Blue, his restaurant, were hollow victories without his nakama. What was the point, if he was only living for himself?

Zoro had pushed Sanji's tongue back into his mouth and was now gripping the back of his head, bodies pressing flush against one another and burning with shared heat. Zoro had managed to hook a leg around the back of Sanji's knee and was slowly dragging his hips between Sanji's thighs and up across Sanji's own. Finally, they broke away to catch their breath, lips still almost touching.

Fuck. Their cheeks were damp. Old age had made them into women.

"Too many clothes," Zoro hissed out.

Sanji couldn't have agreed with him more. He arched his back, allowing Zoro access to his belt, as he pushed down the tatters of Zoro's pants.

"I -mmf-" Zoro tried to talk at the same time he kissed Sanji's neck. 

The cook chuckled at him. "Can't do two things at once, baka."

He was rewarded with an ungentle nip. He gasped.

Zoro, it seemed, remembered everything. All the little spots on Sanji that were the most sensitive. He squirmed with the sensation, Zoro's hands, mouth, tongue everywhere, clothes finally falling off their bodies. He sighed, Zoro echoing him, as skin met skin.

Sanji ducked, capturing Zoro's mouth, sliding in his tongue with little resistance, dueling with the other man's once inside. He broke away with a gasp, trying to squirm out from under Zoro.

"Where -" Zoro actually sounded worried. Sanji bit back a mood-killing laugh. 

Sanji put a hand on top of Zoro's head for leverage, stretching back to reach the drawer of the desk at the foot of the bed. Rooted around in it as Zoro protested, hair being mussed hapahazardly as he struggled to get Sanji back down. 

Finally he found what he was looking for, showing it to Zoro with a smirk. "Impatient idiot." He said. He squeezed some of the massage oil onto his palm, went for Zoro's arousal but was stopped halfway by Zoro's hand. He looked up, openly surprised.

Zoro's eyes were hooded. He guided Sanji's hand slowly back to his own body.

Sanji sucked in a breath. He had before, but it wasn't usual. "Zoro-" he started.

Zoro silenced him with a forceful kiss, and kept his hands on his own, guiding Sanji's hands down his own length. Sanji writhed, feeling the swordsman shudder as his hips dragged over his erection. 

"Zoro," Sanji breathed, "you sure?"

But Zoro was already positioning himself. "Baka!" Sanji hissed. "Not yet!"

The other man was lowering himself. With a muttered curse, Sanji slapped some of the oil into his palm, letting it drip down his fingers, not willing to think about the mess there would be to clean up the next morning. He hastily slid his hand between their bodies, between Zoro's thighs, not letting the other man continue unprepared. "Wait," he said.

Zoro was already gasping, Sanji's fingers finding the right spot almost immediately. "See?" he said, a small smile to his voice. He licked the juncture between Zoro's neck and his jaw, up the soft, hollow line of skin to right under his ear. 

"Enough," Zoro growled.

Sanji tended to agree. He slid his fingers out, wrapping them instead around Zoro's hard length even as the swordsman impaled himself, faster than Sanji would have. It took all his willpower not to thrust upwards into the green-haired man's wet heat. He held himself still until Zoro began to thrust on him, forcing Sanji to pick up the rhythm. He gripped the swordsman's cock, matching the movement of their hips, stroking under and over and across the tip with smooth motions that left Zoro near breathless, panting against his cheek. 

Sanji captured his mouth again, sharing their limited breath. 

Gods, but he had missed this. 

Missed Zoro. So much that it almost physcally hurt.

Sanji threaded his fingers through Zoro's hair, now long enough now to bury his digits in the surprisingly soft strands. Zoro's hands ran up and down Sanji's sides, over his shoulders and down his chest. It was if the other man was trying to memorize his body by touch. 

"I love you," Sanji suddenly hissed, even as the white heat began to envelope his senses. 

They came at the same time, bodies shuddering within one another, hands clenching at the other's skin. 

Zoro smiled against his cheek, collapsing as Sanji slowly slid out of him. He rolled to the side, but kept his arms firmly circled around Sanji's back and waist.

"Always have," Zoro said softly.

*****

Sanji fluttered open his eyes, peering blearily into the dark. He couldn't have been asleep for more than an hour. His body still tingled with a pleasant ache, a lingering contented exhaustion filming his consciousness.

The bed was curiously empty of the swordsman.

Still warm, though.

Damned marimo. He had better just be relieving himself, because if Sanji found him doing katas in the middle of the night -

A sudden, loud clang echoed from the deck, jarring and discordant in the still of the night. It was the sound of steel on steel.

Sword on sword.

Baka. He was out there practicing. In the middle of the night. That damned marimo really -

There it was again, high and tinny, this time accompied by voices. 

Sanji's heart lept suddenly up his throat. The idiot wasn't alone? It wasn't one of their crew, none of them would be stupid enough to challenge the swordsman. 

That would mean...

Marines? Pirates?

It was enough to make Sanji roll quickly to his feet, despite the warm cocoon of the covers.

A rapid flashback to another fight, one where he had gotten himself skewered, as Zoro had put it, prompted Sanji to run out the door of the doctor's quarters without bothering to find his shoes. 

This time, he didn't linger in the entrance. A quick glance showed him the deck was clear, except for two people on the stern, frozen maybe two feet apart, the outline of three swords crossed against a single one visible in the dim light of the moon. 

In the water, something was emitting a soft green glow. It bathed the hull in an aura of eery light, making it seem haunted, like a ghost ship. The black depths of the ocean reflected it upwards, also haunted.

"I said I do not wish to fight you." The voice was strongly flavored with an accent, lilting and clipped at the same time. There was a long silence. 

"You said one more fight." The low hiss was unmistakably Zoro.

"Ah, but I have changed my mind. It has been too long. I no longer care."

"I would have come." Zoro's voice was raising in pitch. "I was in a marine cell."

Suddenly Sanji felt sick to his stomach. Seemed to be happening a lot lately.

How?

How did Mihawk find them? That was, unmistakably, who Zoro had locked swords with. The accent, that ridiculous green glow, as if from a dream, a part of Sanji's past that had faded to a distant memory, a vague impression of another life.

Not now. Zoro would fight him, well or not. Strong or not.

And he would die.

Sanji's hands fisted by his side, powerless to interfere, unable to walk forward. 

A low chuckle drifted over the warm, still air. "Ah, you are that little mouse that watched our first...enounter, no?" Mihawk hadn't turned his head. "The cook that found himself trying to taste someone else's stew."

Sanji clenched his teeth, not trusting himself to speak.

"Tell your lover that this fight is not for him."

Sanji started at that. Zoro didn't even blink, focused with his considerable singlemindedness on his old rival.

How had the man known?

"It's not enough," Zoro finally said, when Sanji stayed silent. 

"You won," Mihawk said. "You bested me. What else could you possibly want for?"

A muscle twitched in Zoro's cheek. "One more. One more chance. It could have been..."

It could have been luck. Sanji heard the unspoken words. 

Where the hell was the rest of the crew? They could take him. With Zoro, they could -

But no. This was Zoro's fight. 

Zoro's choice. 

Sanji felt, oddly, like he was seeing something unspeakably private. But there was no where for him to go. He couldn't leave, he couldn't leave Zoro to fight this man alone. 

How had he found them?

"No." Mihawk said, simply. 

He lowered his sword. 

Zoro stayed tensed, and Sanji could see he was ready to attack anyway. To force Mihawk to fight, regardless of whether it was suicide.

Zoro, however, stayed where he was. Frozen in place, even as Mihawk turned and was gone. Simply dropped over the side of the railing in one fluid motion, his cape swirling like a wraith after him.

The green light faded, clear moonlight washing the deck in a clean white sheen. 

Just like he had never been there.

Sanji still couldn't move. Zoro's shoulders were slumping, his third sword still gripped between his teeth even as the other two, borrowed from someone on the ship, dragged on the boards of the deck. 

The realization hit Sanji hard.

He had been so blind.

Zoro's dream - 

Just as empty as his own.

A humorless giggle lodged in his throat. How had he not seen it?

What was left for the swordsman?

An echo of Robin's voice, "We all found our dreams too young, Sanji."

All of them. 

Fairy tales always ended at the dreams. With the heroes sailing off into the sunset, goals achieved, contented and accomplished. 

They never followed to the morning after. The years after. No fairy tales ever accounted for what happens to the heroes, after the adventure ends.

Sanji took a hesitant step forward, almost without realizing it. 

Zoro looked up at him. Sanji stopped. It wasn't what he had expected to see.

Contentment.

Peace.

Zoro grinned at him, and then Sanji saw the slight sadness as well.

Acceptance.

It was over. 

Zoro looked back out, over the water. His shoulders straightened, as if some unseen weight was suddenly gone.

Sanji stayed for a moment more, silently watching the other man, before he turned back to his bed.

*****


	20. Chapter 20

**New Life: Chapter 20**

*****

The sky was clear the next day as the neared the edge of All Blue.

It was a three-hour journey through the storm's territory, however, and Sanji hadn't forgotten how suddenly the storm could come.

It had been a clear day the last time, too.

Zoro had not brought up his meeting with Mihawk to anyone, Sanji included. If Sanji didn't know better, he would have thought it had been just a dream. But the swordsman was subtly different in his manner the next morning, a slight smile gracing the corners of his usually stoic countenance. It was enough to assure Sanji that the strange confrontation had taken place.

He would have to ask Zoro, someday, just what had happened in that month after he had won and taken his proper title. The month he had spent just hanging out with Hawk-Eyed Mihawk.

Sanji doubted very much that another man would have survived.

Luffy and his two crews had held a council of sorts for the entire day, deciding on what they would do after dropping Sanji at his restaurant. Albeit a council that had included much rum, several good-spirited fistfights and bouts of tickling doled out by Robin to the reindeer and Luffy, just to keep them in line. 

Eventually it was decided that the crew would try to make it back out of All Blue before the storm, which meant a very, very short stay at The Restaurant of Three Swords. The problem was that Usopp had his wife at home, and neither Nami nor Chopper had planned for such a long absence. Months would be too long for them to wait. 

After that, however, it sounded like Nami and the little doctor might just be ready to rejoin their captain on the seas. No promises were made, but Sanji could see the same light shining from their eyes that he had felt after taking one again to the water. 

No one asked Sanji what he would do. Zoro had stayed silent throughout the entire exchange.

Robin as well. Sanji remembered her telling him the morning he had found her in his room that she could promise him no more than a year. He hadn't asked why, and he still didn't feel it was his right, but that year was fast approaching. 

Nothing was as simple as it had been. It wasn't enough anymore that they were friends. With their dreams the single road they had walked down split into many separate paths, and though they had crossed Sanji knew they'd never truly join. 

Sanji almost wished they could go back, all the way, through all the hardship and heartache and laughter and unfulfilled dreams, to the very beginning. 

Suddenly he was aware of eyes on him. Looking up, across the circle of his nakama, he saw Zoro looking at him, his expression open, his eyes intense. They both asked if he was all right and contained amusement that Sanji was dreaming once again. 

Always a dreamer, Zeff had said.

And suddenly, Sanji didn't want to go back quite so much.

Yes, things had changed. Some things were lost. Some people were lost.

But some things were gained.

Sanji smirked at the swordsman. Zoro raised a green eyebrow, a corner of his mouth quirking up. A look that was clearly a promise and a challenge.

Maybe, Sanji thought, he had finally had enough of his dreams. 

Maybe, finally, he was ready for his life.

His new life.

Whatever that might bring.

*****


	21. Epilogue

**New Life: Epilogue**

 

*****

The sandy road was still damp from the rain the night before, gritty but packed down enough that it hadn't turned to mud. The early morning sun caught droplets of dew on the grass on either side, making them sparkle with diamond drops of light. Sanji thought it made the ground look like an ocean, twinkling depths of green spanning out to the beach and the real water beyond.

There was a decided spring to his step as he walked down the way to the dojo from the Torakaran Market. A cigarette hung from his lips, trailing smoke up to the blue sky. There was a slight clinking as his recent purchase swung with his step, hanging in a bag from his left wrist.

Sanji lifted his lips in a smile. If anyone were there to see, they would have commented that his face had lit up in the way it had used to when he talked of his dreams. 

These days, it was almost as familiar on him as his black suit.

The storm had broken the night before, the dew on the ground the remains of the spinoff that had hit the island hard in the past week. Now that it was over, however, it meant a long stretch of blissful sun for the inner sanctum of All Blue, and a strong stream of customers for Sanji's restaurant.

It had been nearly half a year since Luffy and his now-larger crew had departed, but that morning word of them had finally come by bird. His former nakama would be there by nightfall, dining in the Restaurant of Three Swords. 

If he squinted out across the water, he could already see a speck of a ship on the horizon. It was no matter he couldn't make out the sails. He instinctively knew it was the right one.

His friends coming home.

Sanji grinned again and walked up the steps to the dojo. Then lost his smile and stopped in his tracks, dropping his cigarette to the dirt path. He ground it beneath his heel and kicked it into the grass.

He drew in a deep breath. From inside the rhythm of small feet doing katas pounded on the wood floor, punctuated by loud commands and shouted agreement. Zoro was still teaching his beginners. 

He fidgeted, straightening his already immaculate suit and making sure his blond hair was in place. He wished it wasn't so warm already, he felt like he was sweaty and unkempt from the walk.

Finally he steeled himself and pushed open the door, kicking off his shoes before going inside. He shut it silently and stood by the edge, waiting patiently for the class to finish.

Zoro hadn't noticed him enter, leading his young students through the basic motions of swordplay. A thin sheen of sweat had beaded on his forhead, and the youngsters were in far worse shape than he. 

Looked like someone had woken up with a lot of energy, Sanji grinned to himself. 

Finally, Zoro straightened. "Okay," He said. "That's enough for today. Go home and practice each of those fifteen times before next class."

A chorus of "Yes, master!" rang out, followed by deep bows. Zoro dismissed them.

Sanji caught the small smile at the corner of the swordsman's mouth, something he was sure his students were unaware of. They must have done well today.

The kids caught sight of Sanji as they ran for the door, snickering and poking each other good naturedly. Sanji jiggled the bag on his hand and gave them a wink, which prompted them to giggle uncontrollably. They knew a present when they saw one.

Finally, Zoro looked up. He froze when he saw Sanji, then broke into a wide grin. He sheathed his sword and hung it lovingly on the wall before jogging across the floor.

"Little early for you, isn't it, cook?" Zoro smirked.

"I thought that was my line, marimo."

"You've gotten soft in your old age. Living a life of luxury." Zoro's grin turned a little more feral. "I've just gotten harder."

Sanji raised a curled eyebrow at him. That was a line if he'd ever heard one. "Don't you have a class?" He asked, smirking at the invitation.

"Off for the next few hours." Zoro had advanced, backing Sanji into the wall. His hands ran down Sanji's arms to his wrists, his head dipping forward to his neck. His lips dragged a hot trail down his throat. 

There was a crinkle as Zoro discovered the bag. "What's this?"

It took Sanji a second to remember. When he did, he gasped, shoving Zoro backwards a step. "I -" Suddenly, he wasn't so sure it was a good idea as it had seemed. 

Zoro examined him, frowning slightly. "What're you up to?"

Sanji forced a smirk and took a step forward, trying to resume where they had left off. He grabbed Zoro's head and pressed his lips to his. 

"Mmf-" Zoro said, then gripped Sanji over the ears, forcing space between them. "Sanji..." he growled.

Fine, fuck it.

Sanji swallowed thickly. "Just - it doesn't mean anything. I mean, it does. To me. But it's okay if it doesn't to you, you don't have to -"

"What the hell are you going on about?" Zoro snapped.

"Oi, dumbass, let me finish!" Sanji glared at him.

The two men faced each other for a moment, Sanji nervous as hell and Zoro just looking pissed. 

Sanji dropped to his knees. 

Zoro almost took a step back, but Sanji grabbed him by his left wrist. Plunging a hand in his bag, he swiftly brought his purchase out.

Zoro's face went blank, staring down at what Sanji held.

Sanji lips thinned. "Like I said, it doesn't matter - I mean, it does - you can say no -"

Zoro, no longer expressionless, took the two, crystal-blue stone rings from Sanji's palm. One he slipped onto Sanji's finger. The other he slid onto his own.

Zoro reached down and drew a line on Sanji's forarm, tracing the ghost of a scar. The mate to his own.

"It doesn't change anything," he said softly. "But it does mean something."

"Show me," Sanji challenged, their eyes meeting. Laughter, hope, memory and promise. Tension, balance.

Love.

"Show me," he prompted again.

And falling to the floor with him, a tangle of legs and arms and heated friction, Zoro did.

*****


End file.
